Michael: Every day I sell rights to one more
Those commercials pay quite well
Got an accident attorney here
In'trested in “If I Fell”

The song is mine
The Beatle song is mine
I know it's mine
Because I bought each note and line

Paul: I don't understand why you do this
“Yesterday” is not for sale
I wrote a lot of hits I don't own
It's a final coffin nail

It once was mine
That great hit song was mine
Now I just whine
They're on my telly all the time

At least you don't own “Wings”
(Money I won't share)

Michael: “And I Love Her” sells those rings
(Here, There, Everywhere)

Michael and Paul: So kiss my ass you bitch, won this round

Michael: But we both cannot have them
So “I'm Down” sells Viagra
“Honey Pie” hawking pastries
“Drive My Car” will be selling Integra

Paul: Give you losts of rope, you're goin' down
And I hope you go to jail

Michael: I know this is hard for you to accept
But I you still are going to find
The songs are mine
The Fab Four songs are mine
Each friggin' line
Sir Paul, the Northern songs are mine

Michael and Paul: They're mine, They're mine
No, go blow, they're mine
The songs are mine , the songs are mine
The songs are mine , the songs are mine

Paul: That “Girl” is mine, maybe John's
That “Help” is mine, maybe John's

Michael: It's not a crime
To say the little boy is mine
I mean, the GIRL is mine
I mean the SONG is mine.

Paul: Michael, we'll go to court over this, okay?

Michael: Paul, I think I told you, I'm a glover, getting' whiter

Paul: I've heard other rumors, Michael
She told me that you don't even like girls, don't you remember?

Michael: Well after hearing a few of my BEATLE songs, she said she'd “Let It Be!”

Paul: Those were “Things She Said Today?”

Michael: “She Said, She Said”

Paul: Oh, Darling, please believe me

Michael: That's gonna cost you.

Michael and Paul: The damn songs are mine!!!!

(sounds of the most pitiful catfight you ever heard..)