mmm hmmmm.....I wanna make a place in the Final Frontier
Little did I know it would make a difference that it was in Mir!
As I reached for a cold Smirnoff, the whole fridge door came off
And then the circuits were fried
Spent an hour in the dark, why did I embark
on a trip where the ship could go up with a single spark?

The constant threat of fires, the messy tangled wires,
And the lack of seat belts
The only thing keeping this space station whole
is the handy duct-tape roll!
Help me out here, Ground Control!

[Chorus]
They know me as the Man in the Mir
They shot me into outer space
But no system ever works right in here:
If they want me to explore the stars above,
I get out of the ship and give it a sho-ove!

They shot us into space, advanced the human race
At least a moment or two
And though Skylab was neat, ya know we got them beat!
Even though every Joe's been telling us we're obsolete.

With every toilet flushed, hydraulic fluid gushed
Out of gaping hooooles!
Whoever designed this had too much to smoke
'Cause the coffee machine is broke!
Is this some kind of cruel joke?

[Chorus.....end:]
If you want me to explore the stars above,
Bring some vodka up, and show me some love!
Floating in the air, gotta pass the time,
Make a cosmonaut go and lose his... mind!
[I'm gonna... lose my... my mind!]