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Song Parodies -> "Wankin' Walrus"

Original Song Title:

"Rockin' Robin"

Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Wankin' Walrus"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Saw a news blurb recently about a walrus named Thor who swam as far South as Scarborough, England, and was said to be openly masturbating on a dock. I thought for sure this was a hoax, until I saw a video, and sure enough Thor was bringing the hammer down on his genitalia ...At which point I said, "Now I've TRULY seen everything. Imagine a walrus in England!"
Eeka eek eek .. Eeka eeka eeka eeka
Eeka eek eek .. Eeeka eeka eeka eeka
Eeka eek eek .. Eeka eeka eeka eeka
Eek .. Eek ....Eeka eek

He strokes with his flipper all day long
Shocking and a-mocking the onlooker throng
All the genteel ladies on Prince of Wales Street
Come to see the walrus and go Eek .. Eek .. Eek
That wanking walrus .. Eek .. Eek .. Eek
Wanking Walrus .. Eek ..Eeka Eek Eek
Blow, Wanking Walrus
Cause you're gonna shock the world tonight

Every baby Harp; Every Otari*
Every Pinniped from the Laptev Sea
The Grey Seal cow, the Elephant bull
Smackin' their flippers
Saying "Pull, Thor, pull"
Wanking Walrus ..Eek ..Eek ..Eek
Wanking Walrus .. Eek .. Eeka Eek Eek
Pull, Wanking Walrus
Cause you're gonna shock the world tonight

A pretty little Walress from the Greenland Sea
Said "Its time to stop and inseminate me"
They started going steady and "What the Hey!"
He's got the biggest harem in the .. Baffin Bay

He stroked with his flipper all day long
Stroking and a-poking, not knowing it's wrong
All the Pinnipeds from the Barents Sea
Smacking their flippers, saying, "Sweet, sweet, sweet"
Wanking walrus (Sweet, sweet sweet)
Wanking walrus (Sweet, sweeter than sweet)
Go, wanking walrus cause you really
Have 'em shocked tonight
*Sub family of seals to which walruses belong ..Also rhymes with chickadee

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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CML - January 13, 2023 - Report this comment
Actually, Thor wasnt using his flipper. He was using his left vestigial hind limb to do whatever it was he was doing. But "Vestigial hind limb" would not have tracked "treetops" too well, so ...... In further developments, Thor has issued a press release denying that he was self-pleasuring, and is now filing suit against Twitter for the hastag #wankingwalrus, claiming defamation and stigmatization
Corky & The Juice Pigs - January 14, 2023 - Report this comment
"And the seals, they sing now...

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