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Song Parodies -> "ACT-SAT (College Test Thing)"

Original Song Title:

"PYT (Pretty Young Thing)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"ACT-SAT (College Test Thing)"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

In America, most high school students in 11th and 12th grades of any academic calibre are pursuaded to make plans for secondary education. Two organized academic rank testing organizations are well established in the US as a marker for many college admissions departments to determine a student'seligibility-- the ACT and SAT. Although voluntary (and they are not cost free), for some students it is a mere formality--but some need extra help. NOTE: a rector by definition is a college or university official. In this parody, that person is administering the tests.
(“You know you’ve nearly graduated”, she cried…”You know that your future is up to you!”…SAT, ACT! Time for testing!...)

My G.P.A. ain’t crazy
It’s true, a 3 is fair
So lately I’ve been training
A diploma I got to reach
It’s my nature—put up a legacy
Now this is how
Show up on time, try to look real bright
‘Though I’m from The Heights
I’m a knight on a campaign
To make my scores hit the max

Time to read books (ACT)
I’ll be cramming
An education (SAT)
Right out of the air
I gotta pass through (ACT)
Like it’s nothing
Do some high gamblin’ (SAT)
Don’t wanna be poor
And work retail stores
(Need to pick a major, yes I will….)

Gotta change up my learnin’
I hired a tutor, too
Might consult a voodoo lady
Ain’t a bum, feeling such urgency
U of C I’m yearnin’
Sadly, it ain’t free
Don’t you know now I ain’t got time
To fly up some kites
Or to play Fortnite
Or eat right
All my nerves are shot
Need that collegiate spot

I need to pass through (OMG)
Pawned out my class ring
To buy some questions (Sneaky Pete!)
--From my buddy Lar’
Test questions from last year (yes I did, yes I did…)
Foreswearing pot, too! (THC)
Keep a-studying
Because I’m fretting (need caffeine)
Will I make it there?
An Ivy League chair? (need a pep pill?)
(…pretty desperate!...UGH! [pant, pant]…pretty desperate…UGH![pant, pant]…)

The rector now instructing me, he says
“Bla bla bla…bla bla bla bla…bla bla bla…bla bla bla bla…”
He said wha? Wha? Wha? Wha wha wha?
I’m pulling hair!

I made a boo boo (woe is me!)
On the testing
I filled the test card (ABC)
Randomly on there
‘Cause I just wasn’t there, just was not there
I guess it’s night school (QED)
I’ll be enrolling
Open admissions (so easy)
With my scores less than fair
A cross that I’ll bear, a cross that I’ll bear

I got a (SAT) 300--
I got a (ACT) a 6 rank-- (repeatedly through the fadeout)

(uhhh…maybe a community college is the place for me…yeah, I guess it’ll be much cheaper…close to home…those testing scores were so lame…that testing thing..).

Copyright 2018, Agrimorfee.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

paul robinson - September 28, 2018 - Report this comment
Well, this one gets a high PAT (Parody Aptitude Test) score, (Three 5's = 1500).
SAT Prep Guy - September 28, 2018 - Report this comment
If you want to ace the reading comp portion, read only the first and last sentences of each paragraph. Why waste time reading the middle sentences -- are you going to remember anything about them after reading them under time pressure? Besides 90% of the meaning of the paragraph can be gleaned from the first and last
Matthias - September 28, 2018 - Report this comment
Great choice of original song (Which hasn't been done that many times on Amiright before. In fact I was considering using it for an OWN round). This is a great topic too. I remember the SATs vividly. Hated them with a passion because I suck at taking tests!
Peter Andersson - September 30, 2018 - Report this comment
It seems appropriate that I'm two days late to comment on this a procrastinator's anthem.

*Checks the box for "555".*
Stuart McArthur - October 01, 2018 - Report this comment
It's VCE for us over in Oz, Agri. Reminds me the Mr Bean episode where he sits smugly, finished, until a minute before the exam finish bell, then realises he's only taken 1 of the 2 test pages out of the envelope. - 555
Agrimorfee - October 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Stu, that episode was definitely in my mind while writing this (but i thought he just took the wrong test?). Too bad I couldn't include material about the good luck charms he littered the table with, nor his ill-fated attempts to cheat. Thanks for the 5s, students!

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