I know I'd seen him up on the screen, like a lima bean
I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one
With my pants on the door at the pound
He said I am the one With my pants on the door at the pound

She told me his name was Charlie Sheen, that I had his spleen
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
With their pants on the door at the pound

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around going under the knife
And mother always told me check who the donor is
And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

Charlie Sheen is not my donor
He's just a guy who claims that I am the one
But the squid is not much fun
He says I am the one, But the squid is not much fun

For forty days and forty nights
His maw was open wide
But who can stand when his khaki pants
Are not name brand
With my pants on the door at the pound
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice
(Do think twice)

He told my lady my surgery, it had all been free
Then showed a photo my lady cried his spleen was like mine (oh, no!)
cause my pants on the door at the pound

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around going under the knife
They came and stood right by me
Then the smell of sweet morphine
For me and Charlie Sheen
And now I've got his spleen!

Charlie Sheen is not my donor
He's just a guy who claims that I am the one
But the squid is not much fun

Charlie Sheen is not my donor
He's just a guy who claims that I am the one
But the squid is not much fun
He says I am the one, but the squid is not much fun

He says I am the one, but the squid is not much fun
Charlie Sheen is not my donor
He's just a guy who claims that I am the one
But the squid is not much fun
He says I am the one, but the squid is not much fun
He says I am the one, but the squid is not much fun
etc.