it's close to meal time, my stomach’s growling as I walk through the park
out in the sunlight, I drool and sweat as I cook that meat real dark
I like ice cream, but dessert has to wait ‘til after dinner…
thawed from the freeze-er Imma cook these jumbo chicken thighs
I'm paralyzed

‘Cause I'm A Griller, Grillin’ Night
and no one's gonna argue, when the beef is tastin’ right
‘Cause I'm A Griller, Grillin’ Night
I'm searchin’ for my knife
To Cut My Grilled Meat, Grilled Treat, Tonight!

I want to grill lamb, but realize there's no wood left to burn
to heat this cold ham, I guess it's back inside I must return
I close the door, and hope it tastes as good once baked in oven, sure
but all the while, I sit here wishin’ to go back outside
I fantasize

‘Cause I'm A Griller, This Ain't Right
there ain't no stupid char-coal I can grill with, cook inside, sure
Chili's, Grilled Tonight
I'm gonna grab the wife
And Get Some Chili's, Grilled Meat Tonight!

“God's creatures killin’”
the vegans get so smug, they masturbate
there's no mind-changin’ my jaws want grilled tuna steaks this time
(they're open wide)
man, what an end to the night!

I'm out to get food, and lemons to make up some lemonade
what would possess you, to come here if you “like, don't eat meat” mate?
now is the time, for you and I to have some ribs together, yeah
all through the night, I'll snack on the leftovers of the meat
I'll eat and eat…

Yeah, I'm A Griller, Grillin’ Night
and I can grill up more than even I can eat in one night
Griller, Grillin’ Night
so the grill I shall light
And Grill Some Burgers, Hot Dogs, Chicken, And More Here Tonight!

‘Cause I'm A Griller, Grillin’ Night
and I can grill up more than even I can eat in one night
Griller, Grillin’ Night
so the grill I shall light
And Burn My F***in’ Finger! (Yow!)

I'm gonna grill food tonight…

(spoken bit in a Vincent Price impression)

talking now, through this song's end
help me be clever, won't you, my friend?
my brain fogs in search of words
I realize I'm out of rhymes
there's nothing clever to be found
within my brain, I look around…
I think and think, but, what the #3!!?
I'm off to get some Taco Bell!

I'm gonna grill food tonight
(Griller, Griller)
I'm gonna grill food tonight

(Grillin’ Night, Griller)
I'm gonna grill food tonight

oh yeah, I'm gonna grill food tonight
(Grillin’ Night, Yeah!)

(continued speaking, back to the Vincent Price impression…)

in confusion, I scratch my hair
the f*ck am I still doing here?
the song is wrapped-up, over, done
I guess I'm droning just for fun…
and though I try to make a rhyme
I can't think any further…
made myself hungry writing this
I think I'll grill some burgers!

(attempted Vincent Price laugh… I-I CAN'T DO IT! I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!!!)