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Song Parodies -> "Billie Jean's Lover"

Original Song Title:

"Billie Jean"

Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Billie Jean's Lover"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Time to 'fess up now he's gone. Poor Michael wasn't lying about Billie Jean's lover. Yes, it was me! I just happened to be god's gift to women in '82. I really don't like me then. But people can change, you know. I've used the Motown 25th anniversary version as the OS, where he is said to have first introduced the 'moonwalk'. You'll find it on YouTube here. Or if you wanna go the whole hog, try the 15-min HD version of the Jackson Five performance here.

We all know about 'Thriller' but, for what it's worth, here are my favorite albums from that year: Dire Straits's 'Love Over Gold', David Lindley's 'Win This Record', Al Dimeola's 'Electric Rendezvous', and Tom Waits's 'This One's From the Heart' (F.F. Coppola movie soundtrack, feat. Crystal Gayle). They all won awards, too, but all the young'uns were buying THAT.

I walked in like Steve McQueen in a movie scene
Treat 'em unkind - in the cot, keep 'em keen. I am the one.
Quick romance, on the floor, on the ground. I said I am the one
Make advance, out the door, lovenest bound

She told me her name, some silly teen, and she winked obscene
My featherbed yearned, the guys all dreamed of being the one
Quick romance, on the floor, on the ground.

Everybody told me be careful who you screw
Don't go round waving private parts
Big brother always told me be careful making love
Be careful who you screw, 'cos she'll lie about her youth

Billie Jean she was my lover
She's just a girl with claims on Michael Jackson
But the kid is my real son
She says he is the one, yes she did - but just a con

Four hundred Gs, she fought for rights
The whore perjured and lied
He took the stand, denied her demand
Her schemes and plans
Quick romance, and what's more, he was brown
So take my strong advice, just remember to stay cool as ice
(cool as ice)

The baby was fine, nursed him till three, then she looked for me
She showed at disco, but me not spied, 'cos I left at nine (oh no)
Quick romance, out the door, outta town, baby

Mother always told me be careful what you do
Don't go round with those young poptarts
Another could night-fly me
She could fly me to the moon
This happened very soon
We were flying in her room

Billie Jean she was my lover
She's just a girl with claims on Michael Jackson
But the kid is my real son

Silly teen is in some bother
She's just a girl who says that he is the one
And no father I become
She says Michael Jackson, so the kid is not my son

She says he is the one, so I hid 'cos I'm not dumb
Steve McQueen, seduced another
I'm just a guy no blame, yeah I am the one
Lock the lid and have some fun
She says he is the one, so I did, get one more hon'

She says he is the one, though the kid is my real son
She says he is the one

Billie Jean, she was my lover
Billie Jean, I'm on another
She's just a girl

Billie Jean is, Billie Jean is

(etc.) (fade)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Fife - Wow! The other side of the story done in style! Top compliments for both concept and execution. ;D
Dave W. - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
I gloved It....Clever perspective on this composition, indeed
AFW - March 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Interesting fantasy and story...very well told
Lifeliver - March 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks OMR, Dave. Advice for rich and famous philanderers: Be careful who you screw, 'cos her cycle will screw you. Fortunately I'm not rich or famous, or a philanderer. I'd settle for the second one only.

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