She was a magician
From the Scarlet Devil Mansion
Someone entered the library
Was it Reimu or Yukari?
Spins around in her chair
Wears a nightcap, she has long hair
Hong Meirin was injured
No subtitute gatekeeper

Patchouli is her name... that's her name... Her name's Patchouli
Patchouli is her name... that's her name... Her name's Patchouli
Patchouli is her name... that's her name... Her name's Patchouli
Patchouli is her name... that's her name... Her name's Patchouli

Patchouli Knowledge, she's a genius, unlike Cirno
She was a magician from the Scarlet Devil Mansion for real
Someone entered the library, was it Reimu or Yukari
Hong Meirin was injured, but there's no substitute gatekeeper

Patchouli is her name... that's her name... Her name's Patchouli
Patchouli is her name... that's her name... Her name's Patchouli
Patchouli is her name... that's her name... Her name's Patchouli
You're surrounded, you've been grounded by a smooth Touhou girl

Remilia Scarlet
Took you away, she's no harlot
You'll end up in her throne room
Flandre shows up and it's your doom

Remilia Scarlet... Scarlet... you tried to hurt me?
Remilia Scarlet... Scarlet... you tried to hurt me?
Remilia Scarlet... Scarlet... you tried to hurt me?
Remilia Scarlet... Scarlet... you tried to hurt me?

Remilia Scarlet, you act much more like Cirno
Patchouli's a magician from the Scarlet Devil Mansion, you know
Someone entered the library, was it Reimu or Yukari?
Hong Meirin was injured, no one else'll be the gatekeeper

Remilia Scarlet... Scarlet... you tried to hurt me?
You're surrounded, you've been grounded by a smooth Touhou girl

Flandre just grabbed me and executed a piledriver
My neck's a little broken, but now Marisa breaks in then she would
Chain Flandre Scarlet's skull, vengeance always better served cold
Hong Meirin's now okay, though I'm healing very slowly

[spoken by Marisa]
Isn't that because the room is so dark?
I have enough... of a lot of things.
Patchouli's good with magic, maybe I can do better.
I'd rather go meet an Elegant Servant for the Scarlet Moon.

[spoken by Meirin]
Hey, wait a minute. When did we become acquaintances?
I ran into some weirdo then, you've got to be kidding.

[spoken by Reimu]
This mansion is so big from the outside. I'm not bird-eyed.
And Patchouli must've been the master of this house!