The Dursleys’ client’s come to dine around here;
My Uncle Vernon says, “You’d better disappear!”
I go up to my bed, and a tiny creature’s here:
It’s Dobby. It’s Dobby.

He tells me he’s a little humble house-elf.
If he says something bad, then he must beat himself! (Ooo!)
But if he won’t leave, I might beat him myself!
“Leave, Dobby!”
But he wants to give help…

It’s Dobby, Dobby!
Nose is running, eyes are sobby,
Ears that are pointy,
Hollow-cheeked face,
His only garment:
Moist pillowcase!
That’s Dobby. That’s Dobby.
That’s Dobby. That’s Dobby. (Arrgh!)

He tells me, “Harry Potter better stay home!
Forget your second year, just leave Hogwarts alone!
There’s danger for you there from a cruel man I’ve known—
Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!” (Ouch!)

He beats his head against the board of my bed.
I tell him, “Cut it out! You’ll get my uncle mad!” (“Arrgh!”)
“If Harry will not listen, Dobby frames him instead—
Bad Dobby!”
And he whacks his own head!

“Stop, Dobby! Dobby!
Please don’t run down to the lobby!”
Runs to the kitchen,
Lifts the dessert,
Splats it all over
Vern’s client’s shirt!

“Oh, Dobby!” Dobby
Disappears and leaves us slobby!
Uncle is livid;
So is my aunt!
They bar my window!
Leave here, I can’t!
Thanks, Dobby, Dobby, Dobby!
Thanks a whole lot, Dobby!
(Sobby, knobby Dobby…throbby Dobby…!)

(instrumental break)

Dobby, Dobby!
Wish I could’ve called a bobby!
Ron and his brothers
Swipe their Dad’s car,
Fly to my window,
Tear off the bars,

But Dobby, Dobby,
He’s determined that he’ll stop me!
Seals up the passage
To the school train;
Hexes a Bludger
To beat my brain…

Please, Dobby, Dobby
Go and find yourself a hobby!
Race cars from Matchbox!
Lionel trains!
Anything, ‘xcept to
Drive me insane!

Please Dobby, Dobby,
Go away! My head is throbby!
Tried to protect me?
I’m black and blue!
I think I’d rather
Face You-Know-Who

Than Dobby, Dobby!
Of my peace of mind, you rob me!
How can a house-elf
Be such a pain?
Don’t ever try to
Save me again!

Please, Dobby, Dobby…!

(fade)