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Song Parodies -> "Bowl It"

Original Song Title:

"Beat It"

Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Bowl It"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Hear Bowl It Just had to let you all know, this uses a lot of bowling terminology, but there are two lines in particular I wanted to explain. . . *-In bowling, a Man in the Closet is a slang term to represent when two pins remain after one ball and the 1st pin is directly in front of the other remaining pin.The numbers each represent an actual pin. Pins are number 1 to 10 in their set up, with 1 being the head pin, the second row starts with 2, and each of the back to rows count to the right with the last pin in the back row being the "10" pin. Bowlers should get this one and hopefully non-bowlers see this before the parody, because I can see how some of this might be confusing if you aren't familiar with bowling.
I strapped clown shoes on as they started to stare
Sweat had dripped off my face, had drank way too much beer
An arrow's in my mind, and the board is really clear
I'll Roll it, Just Roll It

I did approach, released the ball from my hand
I gave it all I could hit the gutter again
The pins they all stood up, my team-mates had laughed again
I dropped it, yet I'll try it again

Just Bowl It (Bowl It)
Roll It (Roll It)
The ball just weighs too much, hold it
Other team's bowling nothing but strikes
It doesn't matter if they bowl it right

Just chuck it (Chuck It)
Just loft it (loft it)
Control it (troll it)
I missed it (missed it-ooh)

My average dropping, my team's losing again
Hit it down the center, oh Split it's 7-10
I tried to pick it up, the fowl light is blinking red
I crossed it, just crossed it

I have to show them my head isn't all air
Man left another 5, can't strike and rarely spare
They'll strike it, then they'll pick it
the handicap isn't fair
But roll it, OOPS wrong lane it's my bad

Just Bowl It (Bowl It)
Roll It (Roll It)
Gotta hit it now can't leave it
Really not lucky, can't hit it right
It never matters can't bowl for my life

Just toss it (toss it), Chuck it (chuck it)
Think a Man is in the closet
Showing off straight ball, a curve from the right
It doesn't matter who loses tonight

Just Bowl It Bowl It Bowl It

Throw It (Throw It)
Roll It (Roll It)
No one wants to really blow it
Showin' my anger, fumin' all night
Ball flirts with gutters
to left and the right

I Bowled it (bowled it)
Lost it (Lost it)
Another week to feel I tossed it
Brother just beat me
He's 'bout half my size
Really don't matter
That I'm 25

I Bowled it (bowled it)
Rolled it (rolled it)
Darn this time I can't control it
Went to the 10 pin, hit it just right
Left all 9 others, can't play the sport right

Gosh darnit (darnit)
Split it (split it)
Tired of feeling so embarrassed
Always tomorrow
I'll quit this tonight
Blame it on oil
I threw it just right
As always, thank you, and all my parodies are at My Page

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   30

User Comments

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Matthias - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Educational and Athletic!!! Even I (being a bowler) didn't know what a "Man in the Closet" was, it's a good thing I didn't skip over the intro. Beautiful job!
Dylan Baranski - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't go bowling very often, but I enjoyed this parody & I give it 5-5-5.
Ann Hammond - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Loved it, you do say you're a below average bowler. I took bowling lessons as a kid.
Yoidy - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I was bowled over! 555
Agrimorfee - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
STRIKE!! (final score:555).
AFW - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
This really bowled me over..
Wolverine - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I thought a fowl line would be for hunting birds. But I got the gist of it. :-) You get a turkey, X-X-X. And I've never heard the term "Man in the Closet" either. I've heard to pins directly behind others as a "sleeper".
Jason - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent! 555
The Charnstar - March 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Loved it, reminded me of my bowling days... Gosh, I sucked. But this parody rules, also, the Midi file you used sounded really good, so fives all around!
Below Average Dave - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you Everybody for your comments, I know I waited a long time between Like the Craft and this one. . I commented on recent parodies to all of you and read yours too. . .except Jason and Dylan who haven't released any recent works, but I will comment on your next release.

Matthias & Wolverine-Man in the Closet had to be one of the most bizzare terms I heard used to describe it. Sleeper pin is the term used by USBC, that's the actual term. Man in the Closet however, is much funnier and I couldn't write a bowling parody without it:)

Wolverine-Yep, Fowl Line probably is for hunting birds, but unfortunately spell check didn't catch that because Fowl is a word too-it's actually suppossed to be "Foul" line, which of course is the line representing where the approach becomes the lane, again, the crossing of it, and landing on ones bottom puts an image, just funny, had to mention that one too.

Charnstar--Thank you very much for the comments on the recording, this one has been one of my bigger debuters of project 3 on Soundclick, although I don't know if anything will ever dethrown Weenie on a Hot Bun, that song is just dominant and it keeps getting downloaded and listened to everyday by lots of people.

Ann-Sadly so did I:( I actually am probably not nearly as bad as I think I am, my average, well I'll spare you that (no pun intended) but I have my moments. . .When I was 16 (8 years ago) I once got so upset with how I was bowling that I actually rolled the ball from the start of the approach and the ball curved before getting the lane and went down the next lane and got a strike, but I failed to even get a mark on the lane I was suppossed to be in.

Dylan Baranski - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah, my mom got a new computer & gave me her old one, but I don't have an internet connection to my room yet, so I haven't been able to submit any new parodies. But don't worry, I'll be back.
Brian - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Like this parody a lot. i am an avid bowler and can attest to nights where I couldn't bowl to save my life. 5-5-5, although I think you scored a 300 with this one.
Wolverine - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(Ages) See comment above. Yes BAD I know what a Foul Line is. I'm not bowling this year, but in years past carried about a 180 average. My best friend is an avid bowler (about a 205-210 avg.), and his son bowled his first 300 game last year. I just had to chuckle at the thought of a Fowl Line. Maybe that's what they use while Turkey Bowling.
Below Average Dave - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Brian-I know how hard it can be when you feel like you are rolling it just right, and it won't do anything, I had one of those nights the day I wrote this, although the day I wrote this response, I actually bowled pretty well. . . Wolverine-Thanks for the second comment:) I don't know about the Turkey and my mis-spelling having anything related, but maybe in my head--Fowl:) 205-210 is pretty good, 180 I averaged tonight--but I could only WISH my average was that high--my Team Name is Holy Split on Sundays, and Split Sharks on Wednesday, the theory is our opponents get more splits, it works-except that so do we. . .Congrats to your son--I've been bowling since I was 4 and the closest I could get was 279---that's 2 decades (21 years) and I've not done that. . .can't blame you for getting a laugh out of "Fowl Line" maybe it adds to the parody since it is a real word:)
bobpiecheese - April 08, 2007 - Report this comment
(AGES) Gee, I wonder who's gonna own this contest! Your MJ rip sure outdoes mine, that's for sure!
Michael McVey - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, this one certainly isn't a tap, and it isn't like the poor fellow who got 8 strikes and no gutters and still scored less than 100.
Jack Wilson - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Its hard to do a great parody of this since Weird Al's is oen of the best parodies out there, this was pretty damn good too! 5s
Matthias - September 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Great to revist your winning song Dave, no gutter-balls here.
Agrimorfee - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) Now you rolled a spare!
Pappa Smurf - September 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Great work I love bowling!
bobpiecheese - September 16, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) See above - and I share your bowling abilities (or lack thereof).
stuart mcarthur - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) deepest sympathise Twinkletoes - you need to do the tippy-toes approach then launch the ball at a 35 degree trajectory - that's the stuff they don't tell you - very nice job, dave - 555
Kristof Robertson - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4B) I used to be quite a bowler when I was younger, this really hits home. Funny stuff, dude. 555
Jeff Reuben - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
All the good bowling puns are gone, so I'm left with dead wood. Great job, and love the recording!
Cat - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Ah, bowling. One of those sports that I'm not that good at, but I still enjoy nonetheless. Not to mention that it was by far the best part of my high school gym experience. Great job!
Jack Wilson - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!
Peregrin - June 24, 2008 - Report this comment
I found this using the random button. Took me back to my youth, Dave :)
Below Average Dave - June 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Pip!, wonderfully fun past times with bowling myself.
Girl-InTheCloset - June 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice game parody, Sir BAD . . . . I prefer the WII bowling! It's great fun! Sounds just like being in the bowling alley, too! No heavy balls to deal with . . . .
Christie Marie M - September 06, 2008 - Report this comment
I nearly split my sides reading your parody!! I also listened to your recording version of this song as well. Your got an awesome voice and you also did well getting your backup singers to help you. I love bowling a whole lot, but I don't always get a strike!! But your score a 300 on this one. Better yet, since this is, you scored a perfect 555!!! :)
Bilbopooh - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Great parody! I'm a disaster on the bowling alley, but I always have a good time when I go...
Matthias - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
This one has become a Below Average Dave classic parody like how "She Loves Meat" and "I Have No Career" have become classics of mine. There are some great lines in here and to think if I never started that Ages of Amiright contest this never would have existed.
Mark Scotti - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Perfect game and parody!!
bobpiecheese - August 22, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above!
Rex - August 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) The best thing about bowling is that it gets kids off the streets and into the Alleys. Love the line about clown shoes - I guess they wanted a design so horrible no one would want to steal them.

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