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Song Parodies -> "Something To Put James Blunt In"
Original Song Title:
"Wanna Be Startin' Something"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Michael Jackson
Parody Song Title:
"Something To Put James Blunt In"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
While this may come across as an infantile rant borne of bitterness and jealosy...by heck it was fun!
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
In a shipping container? (yeah, yeah)
Plane to Albania? (yeah, yeah)
A cave with a grizzly? (bear, bear)
That'd keep him busy (yeah, yeah)
In a ring with contenders? (yeah, yeah)
Jail cell with offenders? (yeah, yeah)
A refrigerator? (yeah, yeah)
Or lake with gators (yeah, yeah)
What to do with this posh ex-soldier?
He can't release another CD!
We could tie him to a tree
And spray him with graffiti!
Blunt is oh so whinyI'd kick him in the hiney
Dopey, dreary, pine-y
Prayin': someone's gotta be doing something
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
In a rocket to Neptune (yeah, yeah)
He'll sing his inept tune (yeah, yeah)
Lock him in a shed, man (yeah, yeah)
Send him Back To Bedlam (yeah, yeah)
In a cage with gorilla (yeah, yeah)
Or mouth of Godzilla (yeah, yeah)
Guitar he'll be twangin' (yeah, yeah)
Over shark pit, hangin' (yeah, yeah)
The nerd has gone international
It's making me quite irrational
Together, repeat verbatim
"I hate hate hate hate hate 'im!"
Blunt sends me bananasI'd feed him to piranhas
Make him sleep with llamas
It may restore my karma
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
He won't be so dang earnest (yeah, yeah)
When trapped in a furnace (hehheh)
Acoustics are not fine (yeah, yeah)
When down in a coalmine (yeah, yeah)
In a cellar or attic (yeah, yeah)
I would be ecstatic (yeah, yeah)
It's undemocratic? (yeah, yeah)
Hey, I'm just pragmatic (yeah, yeah)
[The Blunt enters with guitar]
You're so beautiful (you're beautiful)
Subway angel (you're beautiful)
My life is brilliant (I'm beautiful)
So lets get naked (we're beautiful)
And he's dating Miss Nemcova
How the hell'd he win her over?
With the rich he's rubbing shoulders
Wish he'd walk under loose boulders
Blunt is oh so whinyI'd kick him in the hiney
Dopey, dreary, pine-y
Prayin': someone's gotta be doing something
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
Where's the best place for that man? (Where? Where?)
An igloo in Lapland (yeah, yeah)
Saharan oasis (yeah, yeah)
For a real long stay, sis (yeah, yeah)
We could put him in a tank (yeah, yeah)
Send him to the West Bank (yeah, yeah)
A rodeo clown suit (yeah, yeah)
Tangled-up parachute (yeah, yeah)
[The Blunt re-enters with guitar]
You're so beautiful (you're beautiful)
Russian model (she's beautiful)
My life is brilliant (I'm beautiful)
So bite me, losers! (you're all pitiful)
More annoying than Bono (yeah, yeah)
A male Yoko Ono (yeah, yeah)
Wish he'd get thrown-o (yeah, yeah)
By a raging cyclone-o (yeah, yeah)
No one could be drear-yaPack him off to Siber-ya
Ten years in Niger-ya?
I'd feel a whole lot cheer-ya
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
The Ukrainian Army? (fair, fair)
A cupboard with Barney (yeah, yeah)
Strap him in a Humvee (yeah, yeah)
As a crash test dummy (scare, scare)
In a sauna with hobos (bare, bare)
A movie with J-Lo (yeah, yeah)
A white robe in Compton? (yeah, yeah)
That'd sure be somethin'(yeah, yeah)
Lift your head up high (c'mon!)
And scream out to the world
"I HATE IT THAT BLUNT SINGS LIKE
A PRE-PUBESCENT GIRL!"
Like Terminator Arn
He'll never, EVER stop
Let's put him somewhere safe
To save the world of pop
In a safe, in a car Antarctica!
In a safe, in a car Antarctica!
[repeat until it actually happens]
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
In a shipping container? (yeah, yeah)
Plane to Albania? (yeah, yeah)
A cave with a grizzly? (bear, bear)
That'd keep him busy (yeah, yeah)
In a ring with contenders? (yeah, yeah)
Jail cell with offenders? (yeah, yeah)
A refrigerator? (yeah, yeah)
Or lake with gators (yeah, yeah)
What to do with this posh ex-soldier?
He can't release another CD!
We could tie him to a tree
And spray him with graffiti!
Blunt is oh so whinyI'd kick him in the hiney
Dopey, dreary, pine-y
Prayin': someone's gotta be doing something
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
In a rocket to Neptune (yeah, yeah)
He'll sing his inept tune (yeah, yeah)
Lock him in a shed, man (yeah, yeah)
Send him Back To Bedlam (yeah, yeah)
In a cage with gorilla (yeah, yeah)
Or mouth of Godzilla (yeah, yeah)
Guitar he'll be twangin' (yeah, yeah)
Over shark pit, hangin' (yeah, yeah)
The nerd has gone international
It's making me quite irrational
Together, repeat verbatim
"I hate hate hate hate hate 'im!"
Blunt sends me bananasI'd feed him to piranhas
Make him sleep with llamas
It may restore my karma
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
He won't be so dang earnest (yeah, yeah)
When trapped in a furnace (hehheh)
Acoustics are not fine (yeah, yeah)
When down in a coalmine (yeah, yeah)
In a cellar or attic (yeah, yeah)
I would be ecstatic (yeah, yeah)
It's undemocratic? (yeah, yeah)
Hey, I'm just pragmatic (yeah, yeah)
[The Blunt enters with guitar]
You're so beautiful (you're beautiful)
Subway angel (you're beautiful)
My life is brilliant (I'm beautiful)
So lets get naked (we're beautiful)
And he's dating Miss Nemcova
How the hell'd he win her over?
With the rich he's rubbing shoulders
Wish he'd walk under loose boulders
Blunt is oh so whinyI'd kick him in the hiney
Dopey, dreary, pine-y
Prayin': someone's gotta be doing something
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
Where's the best place for that man? (Where? Where?)
An igloo in Lapland (yeah, yeah)
Saharan oasis (yeah, yeah)
For a real long stay, sis (yeah, yeah)
We could put him in a tank (yeah, yeah)
Send him to the West Bank (yeah, yeah)
A rodeo clown suit (yeah, yeah)
Tangled-up parachute (yeah, yeah)
[The Blunt re-enters with guitar]
You're so beautiful (you're beautiful)
Russian model (she's beautiful)
My life is brilliant (I'm beautiful)
So bite me, losers! (you're all pitiful)
More annoying than Bono (yeah, yeah)
A male Yoko Ono (yeah, yeah)
Wish he'd get thrown-o (yeah, yeah)
By a raging cyclone-o (yeah, yeah)
No one could be drear-yaPack him off to Siber-ya
Ten years in Niger-ya?
I'd feel a whole lot cheer-ya
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
The Ukrainian Army? (fair, fair)
A cupboard with Barney (yeah, yeah)
Strap him in a Humvee (yeah, yeah)
As a crash test dummy (scare, scare)
In a sauna with hobos (bare, bare)
A movie with J-Lo (yeah, yeah)
A white robe in Compton? (yeah, yeah)
That'd sure be somethin'(yeah, yeah)
Lift your head up high (c'mon!)
And scream out to the world
"I HATE IT THAT BLUNT SINGS LIKE
A PRE-PUBESCENT GIRL!"
Like Terminator Arn
He'll never, EVER stop
Let's put him somewhere safe
To save the world of pop
In a safe, in a car Antarctica!
In a safe, in a car Antarctica!
[repeat until it actually happens]
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 22 | 23 | 21 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
You surely Blazed Blunt in this one! Almost as badly burned as mine...
You surely Blazed Blunt in this one! Almost as badly burned as mine...
You surely Blazed Blunt in this one! Almost as badly burned as mine...
He gained a little respectability by letting Al parody his song (even if he record company balked), but the original is still awful. Fun song!
Oh my god. This was just brilliant. I especially liked the "in a cupboard with Barney" line. Although I have a definite disdain for Russian models (if you catch my drift...) I must say even ol' Blunty doesn't deserve her.
Voids need to be filled, and I hear that the Guantanamo Prison Camp is to be emptied soon...
Uhm... Yeah, I don't know why it made me comment 3 times, but... uhm.... here's the shameless plug... http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/jamesblunt38.shtml
I'd put my favorite lines here in the comments but, I'd just have to copy and paste the entire parody. Highest of Fives.
Best parody I've read today. Many brilliant lines and laugh out loud funny. 5's.
too funny...to everyone but JB i suppose
555 ... Put him in The Philadelphia Phillies -- Major League Baseball would get a Major League Buzz from a Phillies Blunt!
Lots of great ways to get rid of him, here, Kristof...and sort of like Johnny D's suggestion, maybe we could smoke him...
Wow, great rant, err, parody, Kristof! My first thought was "launch him into the sun", so I'm glad to have seen you were thinking along the same lines. The Blunt section was inspired too. 5s.
This song is brilliant. The thoughts are pure. They're all good ideas. And that's for sure! Johnny: Haven't Philadelphia sports fans suffered enough?
Matthias: thankyou, thankyou, and...um...thankyou!
Jeff: The Blunt has NO respectability: thanks, mate.
Cat: Yeah, I HATE gorgeous, rich Russian models too! *sigh*. Cheers for the kind words
Pete: You frikkin' GENIUS! No trial required...;-)
Matthias: ALL plugs are shameless; I'll check it out, dude
Rick: And the highest of thanks back atcha, mate
JP: You're too kind. Don't stop! Cheers....
alvin: The only thing The Blunt finds funny is that people actually buy his AOR crapola. As always, cheers friend
JD: hehehe...did you know also that Blunt rhymes with c[YIKES]. Bless you!
AFW: smoking The Blunt would lead to lethargy, dullness, a ridiculous voice and the face of a ferret. But whatever floats your boat. ;-)
Red Ant: more ways to get rid of this fool? suggestions on the back of a postcard. :-)
Michael: i've been to Philly, and I liked it; I wouldn't wish a pair of The Blunt's udorous socks on the place. Cheers
Jeff: The Blunt has NO respectability: thanks, mate.
Cat: Yeah, I HATE gorgeous, rich Russian models too! *sigh*. Cheers for the kind words
Pete: You frikkin' GENIUS! No trial required...;-)
Matthias: ALL plugs are shameless; I'll check it out, dude
Rick: And the highest of thanks back atcha, mate
JP: You're too kind. Don't stop! Cheers....
alvin: The only thing The Blunt finds funny is that people actually buy his AOR crapola. As always, cheers friend
JD: hehehe...did you know also that Blunt rhymes with c[YIKES]. Bless you!
AFW: smoking The Blunt would lead to lethargy, dullness, a ridiculous voice and the face of a ferret. But whatever floats your boat. ;-)
Red Ant: more ways to get rid of this fool? suggestions on the back of a postcard. :-)
Michael: i've been to Philly, and I liked it; I wouldn't wish a pair of The Blunt's udorous socks on the place. Cheers
DAAAM Dis Is Da Best Parody I Ever Read!!! Great Job Turnin A Bad Song Into A Great Parody. Maybe Sir Worthless Faggot Should Be Sent To Da Black Hole In Oakland!!!!!!
You reign supreme. 5's
big, big effort, Kristof and your usual parade of priceless barbs - "whiny" really does sum him up - they should just put him in that movie with J-Lo and be done with it - 555 - and I'm getting pretty sick of that "oasis/long-stay-sis" couplet - lol
#RICH....um, thanks...you're right, it is a BAD song. As for The Blunt being a faggot; not sure about that one...I mean, have you seen Nemcova? :-) Peace, friend.
Lionel: Aww, bless you my son!
Stu: Yeah, I ought to change the record, right? Come to think of it, J-Lo has featured in quite a few of my parodies....serve her right for turning me down. ;-) Cheers, mate.
Lionel: Aww, bless you my son!
Stu: Yeah, I ought to change the record, right? Come to think of it, J-Lo has featured in quite a few of my parodies....serve her right for turning me down. ;-) Cheers, mate.
Perfect, K... source, sentiment and execution :-)
What can I add this is simply stunning!!!!
Thanks Phil and Martha
(SOTM) It's pitiful, it's pitiful, it's pitiful... Yet it's still funny! As a Blunthead, you can't help but be offended by an anti-Blunt parody, I guess. But you had some great lyrics, and I loved the "You're Beautiful" part. I loved your methods of getting rid of James Blunt, and that "Pre-Pubescent Girl" line is classic. So I guess my vote is 551.
(SOTM) finally someone expressing their feelings about JB in a good parody!! i love it, evn tho i kinda liked a few of his songs, blunt isnt my favest singer!! its brilliant, and very very creative.
(SOTM) WHOOO! I agree with Paula, all 5's
I have to admit, this one is both funny and creative. -- MM
(SOTM) See above. Still need to cut and paste the whole thing. :-)
(SOTM) Oh maaaan. Still love this so much.
See above (x4)
(SOTM) Hehehe HEE! Mama say, mama sa, mama coo say 555.
SOTM - See above.
SOTM-See above
(SOTM) You don't need to know the OS to appreciate this parody...just the song it's referring to...damn, I hate that song...but this one is AWESOME! Way to go, Kristof!
(SOTm) See above! Some darned fine rhyming pairs too, not the least of were "Neptune/inept tune" and "earnest/furnace".
(SOTM) To put it Bluntly -- see above!
(SOTM) I forgot to mention last time how I loved the "grizzly (bear bear)" line - wow, that's a long OS though - I had no idea - you must've been up late racking your brain for ideas for this one - although "Blunt Rage" is one of the more fearfully energising of recent world phenomena
(SOTM) In a cupboard with Barney? That truly would be torture...
(SOTM) I have no idea who James Blunt is, and I get the impresion that I don't want to know.
SOTM...I think you struck a chord with a LOT of dissatisfied Blunt hearers. (I am reluctant to call any of us Blunt listeners...because it's doubtful that we'd put for the effort to listen to his "music.) Fabulous job, KR!
Still well done, and see above!
ahaha nice!
I'm not a James Blunt fan but I did like the song 'You're Beautiful.' But the parody is hilarious and I give it 555.
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