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Song Parodies -> "Heaven Help Me! Grandma's got her HEAD CHEESE on"

Original Song Title:

"Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On"

Original Performer:

Mel McDaniel

Parody Song Title:

"Heaven Help Me! Grandma's got her HEAD CHEESE on"

Parody Written by:

Lionel Mertens

The Lyrics

For all you kosher eating folk out there, this parody is about the Anti-Slice! Or what is better known as, Head Cheese. Here's a brief descript.: Head cheese, also called souse and brawn, is a jellied loaf or sausage. Originally it was made entirely from the meaty parts of the head of a pig or calf, but now can include edible parts of the feet, tongue, and heart. The head is cleaned and simmered until the meat falls from the bones, and the liquid is a concentrated gelatinous broth. Strained, the meat is removed from the head, chopped, seasoned and returned to the broth and the whole placed in a mold and chilled until set, so it can be sliced.Sorry, no Barf of the Feast for me.
Who placed the order?
For the graphic sight *
Ole Grandma's cooking
I know it bites! **
I turn my knose
And then watch her
'Til she's gone ***
Lord, have mercy
Grandma's got her Head Cheese on! [the table]

Reeling from the pig slop
Turned off by the meat?
Open up the windows
So I can breathe
A bit unerving
Serving up her Souse & Brawn
Heaven help me
Grandma's Baby's got her Head Cheese on

She can't help it if I hate the taste
I'm not to blame if it goes to waste
She ain't really trying to cause me pain
It's just not not for me
Aw, My Grams can't help it

Look down on Mom's street
By the Deli stand
There's a group of Hebrews
And no myst'ry Spam ****
But it don't look like
Grandma's doing something wrong
Help!, Yeshua
Grandma's got her Souse and Brawn

She can't help it if ain't gourmet
Who takes the blame when it's cooked that way?
She ain't really trying to cause tomain
It just comes Pastured free
Aw, "My Grams" can't help it

Caught in a corner
And I'm forced to try *****
Everybody's looking
As I get light *****
They turn their heads
And they watch me till It's gone
Lord, have mercy
Grandma's got her Head Cheese wrong
Heaven help me
Help me keep this Head Cheese down ******

* I get sick, just looking at it
** Big time
*** Here Fido bite this, good dog.
**** Unlike myself
***** Do I have tah?
****** I've made an @ss of myself with these asterisks

copyright (C) 2006 Lionel Mertens

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS and I didn't get the asterisks thing, but your intro was possibly the grossest thing I've ever read (a compliment).
Lionel Mertens - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks for the fives Red
Tokusou Sentai Blessranger - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Something's related to Green Bay Packers, 'nuff said.

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