Simon:
Every night it's the same routine on this talent show.
A million hopefuls, some won't make it anywhere.
Between listening to these bad auditions and being shot i'd rather get shot.
Yet they love it when me and Paula fight they think it's kind of hot.
We I have to admit that I don't get by just by criticisms alone.
Paula, Paula.

I disagree with you, disagree with you, disagree with you.
These hopefuls won't go anywhere, i'm sorry but it's true.
I disagree with you, I disagree with you, disagree with you.
I know you're trying to be nice but there's something wrong with you.
I don't know what you're on or what's up, but you're a bit fruity.

But that doesn't mean I hate you Paula.
I don't know anything about you, Paula.
But you're here, this is everything I could ever want.
I don't why you're so strange sometimes, but i'm glad it's you I fight with.

But you're everything i'm dreaming of.
You're someone I love to fight and love.


Paula:
Ever since we started, you've made some of these hopefuls cry.
Why do you have to be such a mean-spirited guy?


Simon:
These hopefuls are terrible, they won't get a gig out of this joint.
My criticisms may be harsh but hey Paula that's the point.
I will them tell to toughen up if they cannot handle the truth.
But I don't go by my criticisms alone.

Paula, Paula, Paula.
I disagree with you, disagree with you, disagree with you.
These hopefuls won't go anywhere, i'm sorry but it's true.

I disagree with you, I disagree with you, disagree with you.
I know you're trying to be nice but there's something wrong with you.
I don't know what you're on or what's up, but you're a bit fruity.
But that doesn't mean I hate you Paula.
I don't know anything about you, Paula.
But you're everything i'm dreaming of.
You're someone I love to fight and love.


Paula:
Ooh, ooh now can't you just be nice to these ones?
Now you've got this one stomping out as he walks.


Simon:
I don't have to listen to your sympathy talk.


Paula:
Listen I think you've just made that rather mad.


Simon:
But Paula can't you see that person's singing was bad?


Paula:
Even though I hate you and you seem to hate me.
I actually have to admit that I have feelings for you.


Simon:
You have feelings for me, yes I know that is too.
Even though you act like you had more than one drink.

Paula:
I was on painkillers, it's not my fault.
I may hate you sometimes but I like the way you think.

Simon:
But since the viewers really love it and are hoping we will.
Why don't we just talk this out and get on with the show?


Paula:
The fans are thirsty for the main attraction.
And we're here to give them a bit of Saula action.

Simon:
Half of these singers won't get a career after this joint.
Yes, Paula the words I say are harsh, but by now you get the point.

You got the fans clammering for more and more.
I don't get by just by my criticisms and stylish shirts alone.
Paula, Paula, Paula.


I disagree with you, disagree with you, disagree with you.
These hopefuls won't go anywhere, i'm sorry but it's true.
I disagree with you, I disagree with you, disagree with you.
I know you're trying to be nice but there's something wrong with you.
I don't know what you're on or what's up, but you're a bit fruity.
But that doesn't mean I hate you Paula.
I don't know anything about you, Paula.


But you're here this is everything I could ever want.
I don't why you're so strange sometimes, but i'm glad it's you I fight with.

But you're everything i'm dreaming of.

You're someone I love to fight and love.

The one I love to fight and love.