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Song Parodies -> "Hollandaise!Salivate!"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Google "Emeril's ego" and you get 23,700 hits.

If we cooked a hollandaise,
Took the time to poach an egg,
Make your eggs Benedict:
It would be,
It would be so slick!

Beat two egg yolks in a pan,
With lemon juice in combination;
Soon you'll understand

Add salt, pepper, water,
Hold off on melted butter, for now;
Then whisk it till it thickens,
Don't forget the trick is
Low heat for hollandaise!

When I Googled "hollandaise,"
Hooked all kinds of recipes,
Then I whipped up a rhyme;
Cook with me,
Cook with me online!

How to cook a hollandaise
Let me kindly demonstrate;
I've no fame like LaGasse
Egoistic ass!

Now remove it from the heat;
Add butter slowly to hollandaise.
Whippin' to the beat,
You'll start to salivate!

In short time,
A meal sublime!
To make a sunny breakfast
That's Frenchy-licious,
We need a hollandaise!

Then we put the hollandaise
On some poached or coddled eggs;
Were my eggs without sauce
It would be,
It would be some loss!


Overcooked the hollandaise
And she threw it in my face!
Now I'm basted with slime!
Mrs. G,
Likes a real food fight!


On my sweater: emulsification
On my sweater: emulsification
┬ęBob Gomez 2005

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Olvan The Terrible - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Quite possibly the greatest song about sauce ever written. 555 calories.
Yet Another Dutchman - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
555, what Olvan said. I only have some problems with the outro. Doesn't TOS end with "we have got to get together?"
Agrimorfee - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Am looking forward to Ms. Ritchie's next cooking segment about pate fois gras. 555
Rick C - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Saucy and delightful.
Kristof Robertson - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
5's for the title alone....and extra points for "emulsification"! Eggcellent...
carol - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
delicious! 5's
Red Ant - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
What Olvan said as well. Oh, if you (or anyone else) wants, I've an idea for "Scarborough Fair" called "Emeril's Flair" about cooking. One could even leave in the parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme line once or twice.
Bob Gomez - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
There is a lot of extraneous singing on TOS that I didn't include. It is a six-minute song, after all, and I felt like enough was enough. Thanks and glad you enjoyed the sauce and the song.

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