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Song Parodies -> "Damn I Can't Reach"

Original Song Title:

"Papa Don't Preach"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Damn I Can't Reach"

Parody Written by:

Dumb Ass Kid

The Lyrics

Papa you know i'm getting real upset
Coz I can't reach those top shelf mags
The shop should know by now
I'm no longer 13
So what if I haven't grown an inch
Height's not important to everyone
I may look young to some
But I know my real age

That ten year old kid's big to me
To me he looks about 14
They say i'm awful short
And they call me 'baby' please

Damn I can't reach
I'll stand on a seat
Still I can't reach
Falling would kill me
But I have my ID
I told you i'm 18
You think i'm crazy

They say that I only look 12
I don't take their remarks to heart
Maybe i'll grow and then i'll love my new size

But my friends keep telling me I won't grow up
Sayin' i will never be tall enough
What I need right now is some
Extra height please

Damn I can't reach
Little hands and feet
Damn I can't reach
Maybe I need sleep
But i'll make up the height I'll
Take some hormones
Inject some hormones

(Guitar solo)

Shop assistant if you could only see
Believe that this isn't fake ID
You need some new glasses now
Coz i'm overage
Not underage, ooohhh

Damn I can't reach
Now they're calling me
Damn I can't reach
Now i'm showing teeth
So I bit both their legs hope
I gave them rabies
Damn I can't reach
Kicked out in the street
Damn I can't reach
With my magazine
Damn I can't reach
They've just called the police
Damn I can't reach
Legs taste just like peach
Damn I can't reach
Ooh I'm gonna take some hormones ooh
Don't start calling me shorty
I know i'm hitting my growth spurt
If you like this parody, check out my others. Go to 'Parody Authors' and scroll down. I currently have 23 parodies on this site. You could also do an 'Authors Search' for Dumb Ass Kid if you're desperate... or stupid...or both...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   4
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tania - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn! You're good at this!
Blethar - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
How can you keep churning out hit after hit? While the pacing was a bit off in places (4), it was funny (5), and overall a great parody (5). Kudos to you.
Dumb Ass Kid - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Tania - First again to rate my parodies I see! Thanx Blethar - Kudos to u for voting and voting very honestly. much appreciated
Kristof Robertson - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Pacing a bit shaky, DAK...but a good concept well executed. 455
Dumb Ass Kid - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Kristof, ur vote didn't get processed. make sure when you press 'vote' you don't press back...
Red Ant - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
455, My vote was counted. This is better than the one not to long ago I believe titled " Help I can't reach " about the same topic.
Dumb Ass Kid - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
i never look at the ones previously submitted, i like to be original! Thanx 4 another vote, red ant
Johnny D - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody is actually quite different from Arwen's parody "Help, I Can't Reach", which is located here:

Cl­ever idea for a parody, DAK, keep writing.
Red Ant - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Oops, sorry for my bad memory. No disrespect Arwen, as I've said before I do not judge a parody by who wrote it. PS- Just got the lyrics to this and Arwen's paces a bit better ( I had not been here very long when that parody came out ).
Dumb Ass Kid - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Oi, oi, oi. This is a parody not a messageboard! lol! i'm joking! all comments are appreciated
Dee Range - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
You can get your HGH...Human Growth BALCO in San Fransisco very cheap now. If their sale is over, call Barry Bonds. I doubt he's run out yet LOL. Good job here, DAK. 455. Keep on keepin' on :-)
Dumb Ass Kid - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
I did say this parody was NOT about me. I might not be shaquile o neil, but i ain't minime. thanx dee
Andrew Darwitan - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
God, you're amazing for this one.
Dumb Ass Kid - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow! Thank you Andrew
Your Worst Nightmare - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS. How tall are you anyway? ;)
Dumb Ass Kid - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Um... not especially tall....but...erm....okay, i'm not tall. happy now? boo-hoo
Stephen aka Step-chan - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
555, Dude. Very funny! =)
Dumb Ass Kid - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Step-Chan (again!)

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