(The song parody, or music video that is, starts with a short clip of the army ad. As the army music plays, the SHC Sergeant makes the announcement.)

***SHC Sergeant***:

That’s right. It’s war once again. Your country needs you now, boys. We are fighting an enemy, like we have never encountered before.

(Then, the music of the following song parody begins, and Conker starts singing.)

War is on this country
But I wish I was back home
It’s been a bad fur day
But I’ll fight alone

Now I’ve got the guns, and now I am on the run
Against the Tediz, I’m gonna fight these bears
In this late night hour, I’ll destroy their tower
Just like a soldier, I will fight out there

I hear the shots, of all the bullets flying
I cannot stand, to see my mates
Fall down dying
I hear the cries, of Rodent being tortured
By these Tediz, Rodent won’t die
In the chamber

This building’s hellbent, but I’ll save Private Rodent
I will set him free, from all these evil bears
I will dodge the lasers, cause they cut like razors
Just like a soldier, I will break in there

I see Rodent tied to an electric chair
I hope Rodent does not end up fried
In that bad chair
But first I must shoot these Tedi surgeons dead
But if I don’t pull the right switch
Rodent will be dead

Mission’s still undone, but I’ll dodge the minigun
Used by a Tedi, I will kill him there
I am the survivor, against bullet showers
Just like a soldier, I won’t die in there

Going to the south, with a cigar in my mouth
It is not easy, to fight these bad ol’ bears
I will shoot the tower, it will break the bunker
Just like a soldier, I will fight in there

(Later, Conker escapes from the Tediz headquarters to the beach to meet up with the grey squirrels.)

I miss my girl Berri
Without her, I feel alone
When I end this war game.
I will soon be home

(Then, Conker marches with the surviving grey squirrels to the boat, as he continues singing.)

Just like a soldier, I fought the big bad bear
Now we have gotta flee, from this Tedi country
We will break free, and sail off to sea
And end this nightmare, over the evil Tedi bears

(Conker and the grey squirrels get on the boat with the SHC Sergeant, and they start singing.)

We are all soldiers, against the bears
Now we have broken free
We are all soldiers, we hate the bears
Now we’re set off to sea
We are great soldiers, we killed the bears
For Sergeant SHC
We are brave soldiers, we’re not so scared
Of the Tedi country

(Conker and the grey squirrels continue singing on the boat, as the Tedi headquarters blow up making Private Rodent blast off like a missile.)

We are all soldiers, we’ve been against the bears
Now we have broken free, away from those Tediz
The bears lost knees, SHC is pleased
Of the death of bears, their own war place blew up out there

We are all soldiers, we will not come back there
To deal with Tediz, we have gained liberty
We hate Tediz, they are stinky cheese
We’re all great soldiers, we killed all of those Tedi bears
We have killed off the bears, just like brave soldiers

(Finally, the Panther King uses his remote control to shut off the music video of Conker and the squirrels on the TV, and gets pissed off.)

***Panther King***:

You may have won this time, you stupid squirrel. But I will soon enslave you to my table, and then I shall have my milk tonight.