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Song Parodies -> "I'm a Virgin"

Original Song Title:

"Like a Virgin"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I'm a Virgin"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I'm gonna keep my tenderness
My privates are unused
I will make sure I'm untouched
I'll never reproduce

Doctors fees
Baby Dad
It is sad but true
But I'll never feel
No, I'll never squeal
I won't be used

I'm a virgin
No one can touch on my vine
I'm a virgin
Can't touch my meat
That's my choice

I Won't give you any love now
My lust is fleeting fast
Never be a slutty dude
Cause condoms may not last

I am kind and refined
Feelings strong, But I'll keep control
No I won't poke out
No I won't poke out
Even when I'm old

I'm a virgin hey
As I'll be for all my time
I'm a virgin
Won't stain my sheets
In black light
WooOooh, Wooooooh, Wooooooh

I don't mind your unkind
So up yours I know I look fine
You can't make me feel
Yeah, I'll never feel
Too empty inside

I'm a virgin hey
Stay celibate my whole life
I'm a virgin
Won't see me skeet
Pants zipped tight

I'm a virgin, ooh, ooh
I'm a virgin
I won't have a bride
Cannot touch me
Cannot have me
Cannot love me

No Baby
Truth is you can't have me
cause I am not mankind
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

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Matthias - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow... Dave doing a virgin that's not too rare but Dave doing a parody about being a virgin now that's extremely hard to find! Well done with this one Dave.
TJC - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Funnny stuff Dave! You've got to learn to let go of the cone-bra though...
John Barry - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm vergin' on give you fives. . .I will.
Patrick - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
When the doctor asks if you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases, you can always reply "Does carpal tunnel syndrome count"?
Old Man Ribber - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
This is a wonderful parody...but this definitely is NOT your first time! ;D
Below Average Dave - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Thank you all, yeah Matty and OMR, pretty right on, just like Madonna--I'm not Like a Virgin--but I am well refurbished:) Fun song to write
Tommy Turtle - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Your whole "life"? What, a nun? :)
Hymenating -- I mean, hyphenating - last word would have emphasized the pun: "not man-kind", but it was LOL anyway. 555 for your virtue-OS-ity.

@ Patrick: LOL!
Christie Marie M - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh, my virgin ears! You sure wrote an awesome parody, Dave! Protecting you with 5's!
Ann Hammond - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
he he

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