Mama told me when I was young
Get the f*ck back in the house, quit actin dumb
And listen closely to what I say
when your fathers gets home he’s gonna beat your brains

Oh, take your time don't eat too fast
don’t drink beer or the cops will be on your ass
Go find a woman you'll find love
but if she’s a slut I’ll cut out her tongue

And be a simple kind of dude
cuz I already know that you’ll be just plain rude
Baby be a simple kind of guy
Oh, but if you won’t I’ll make you cry

Forget your lust for the dumb tramp’s butt
get off your ass and try to loose your gut
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try
but I know all your gonna do is sat around and get high

And be a simple kind of dude
cuz I already know that you’ll be just plain rude
Baby be a simple kind of guy
Oh, but if you won’t I’ll make you cry

Boy, don't you worry you'll find yourself
cuz if I don’t knock your teeth out someone will
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try
cuz for once I’ll be satisfied

And be a simple kind of dude
cuz I already know that you’ll be just plain rude
Baby be a simple kind of guy
Oh, but if you won’t I’ll make you cry

Baby be a simple, be a simple dude
Be something you love and don’t be rude, please
no mom get out of my room!