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Song Parodies -> "You Can't Play"

Original Song Title:

"You Can't Dance"

Original Performer:

LL Cool J

Parody Song Title:

"You Can't Play"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Blamed the controller.
For why you can’t ever score.
When we’re playing James Bond!
You make me want to snore!
Why do I bother hunting?
Your aim is so unformed
You could stand right next to me
And you’ll still miss the shot
You can’t play!

Why are you looking up cheats to play Spore?
Game Boy you abused
Every time we try to play Mario Party
You’re the first one to lose!
Man, You can’t even play Sims
Their bladders explode and they die!
Your Sims will never make it to their jobs on time
Because that oven made them fry!
You can’t play!

Dude you’re such a n00b at World of Warcraft
You make players guffaw
That character you play is a wreck
Can’t get past level four
If you try Left 4 Dead you should be scared
Those zombie guys will chow
Less than a minute they’ll drag you ten feet down there underground
You can’t play!

Gaming’s your vice, You’re screwed!
Now Donkey Kong is smacked
If I sucked like you I’d flee from the arcade
Keep those quarters in your stack!
You’ll get scars playing DDR, No boy don’t bust a move!
Your sides will start cramping and you’ll look like a buffoon
You can’t play!

You want to try out some Kirby?
You suck more than he does!
When you lose you get so aggressive
You constantly yell: “F*ck!”
So dude save your money don’t waste it on an X-Box
You’re out there crashing your starship so early
Times you try to beat Starfox
You can’t play!

Did you get the hint?
You can’t play with all the other kids!
Maybe you should try things that are peaceful
So no Street Fighter, God forbid!
You’ll get your butt kicked by your spouse
Playing songs on fake guitars
Bought “Fallout 3” don’t bother
You’ll die before you even start
So buddy do the math
Leave video games alone
For you they’re far too costly
Even “Nintendogs” won’t throw you a bone
You can’t play!

You can’t play!
You can’t play!
You can’t play!
You can’t play!

N00bie, Will you please turn Halo off?
You’re so bad!

You can’t play!

In races you're in last place

You can’t play!
You can’t play!
You can’t play!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Matthias - February 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Here's the original. It's one of LL Cool J's lesser known tunes so you'll probably need it:
Old Man Ribber - February 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Matthias - Sorry, I can't help. I'm still trying to figure out this darned Atari system! (Fine job as usual.) ;D
Blaydeman - February 25, 2011 - Report this comment
(HHS) Is it bad that I have played every single one of the video games mentioned in this parody? As a gamer, I liked it a lot! Great job Matty!
Below Average Dave - February 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Cool parody. . .I have heard of it because LL Cool J is awesome (or was pre-modern era) good job
bobpiecheese - March 18, 2011 - Report this comment
(HHS) Great parody here, liked the diverse choice of games mentioned. 555 for you, sir!
Porfle Popnecker - September 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Good gamer humor. Although my experience with gaming is pretty much limited to my Atari 2600.
Mark Scotti - October 01, 2011 - Report this comment
You can play much easier with code 555! And bonus points for a grat parody.
Blaydeman - October 01, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) See ^^^
Abbott Skelding - October 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Wait a mean there are more difficult games than Pong!? Guess I better quit now then...great job!
Agrimorfee - October 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Not bad, and I wont take those lyrics too personally.
bobpiecheese - October 13, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
D-Mon - October 13, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) You went old school on some of these references. LOL! Good job.
Below Average Dave - October 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Okay---nothing to really add.

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