Now I’ve heard there was a secret pact
To stop Matt Hancock getting sacked,
But you don’t really care for rumours, do you?
It goes like this, move right, then left,
Of clarity we’re now bereft -
The baffled Cabinet will now confuse yer

We’ll confuse yer, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, we’ll confuse yer

Your soap was strong, we washed our pores,
We helped the children stay indoors,
The larger firms and pressure groups did woo yer.
You sent some e-mails from your chair
Though barbers couldn’t style your hair
And papers owned by distant men confused yer

They’ll confuse yer, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, we’ll confuse yer

You say I should avoid the train
And face up to the boss again
But then I might be asking, “What’s it to yer?”
Ambiguity in all your words,
It doesn’t matter which you heard,
The landlords and the drunkards might abuse yer

They’ll confuse yer, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, we’ll confuse yer

I did my best, it wasn’t much,
My government seems out of touch,
Protect our health, we didn’t vote for culling.
And even though we’ve waited long
It seems as though you’re going wrong,
New graphs and so-called road maps you are mulling

They’ll confuse yer, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, we’ll confuse yer

We’ll confuse yer, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, we’ll confuse yer,
Hallelujah.