Buddy, when you pitched this, thought it was a jo-o-oke
Never pegged you as the type to go all ro-ogue
Plannin' out a hei-ei-eist? Not like you, or so I thou-ou-ou-ought
But it's real clear to me you're a tad insa-a-ane
Or you're smokin' somethin' real strong, mate
This plan has all these pa-a-arts that prove that you've lost the plo-o-o-ot
Wearin' neon ti-ights? Settin' fire to the locatio-o-on?
And not when we leave, durin' the vocation?
Don't think your brain's tethered, uh-uh-uh-uh
To this normal dimension, uh-uh-uh-uh

Diamond-pinchin' scheme has too many parts
First glance, there's sixteen ways it can go wrong
Please listen to me, want to make this work
I don't want to be a bother, uh-uh-uh-uh
Workin' the-e kinks out, I'd rather, uh-huh-uh-uh

Why must we wear clown shoes? That seems a tad o-o-off
All these things are nonsense, can't see the trade-off
How will ice-cream help with the hei-eist?
Not used as a bribe, I don't get i-i-it
This escapade is screwed up, of that, I've no dou-ou-oubt
Won't bare my butt, won't flop my willy out
You're so clueless, I fea-ea-ear
Tha-at we won't get near to the diamo-o-onds
You sure you know crime? Buddy, my faith kinda wavers
The way you-ou want our weapons to be wafers
Still want to stick together, uh-huh-uh-uh
Gotta make this plan better, uh-huh-uh-uh

Diamond-pinchin' scheme's full of crazy parts
How will jumpin' beans get us what we want?
Man, listen to me, want to make this work
You want to end up with nothin'? Uh-uh-uh-uh
Work with me-e, I'll think of somethin', uh-huh-uh-uh

'Frai-aid of fai-ai-ail
Oh, afrai-aid of fai-ai-ails, that's me-e-e

Diamond-pinchin' scheme, don't get all these parts
Why a constant lean to the left? Seems off
Just listen to me, want to make this work
Cause your plan's riddled with bollocks, uh-huh-uh-uh
Both the rea-eal kind and the nonsense, uh-huh-uh-uh

Diamond-pinchin' scheme's full of stupid parts
I hate to be mean, but you're a jagoff
Look, listen to me, want to make this work
Are you sure you want these diamonds? Uh-huh-uh-uh
Cause it fee-eels like you're not tryin', uh-huh-uh-uh

Diamond-pinchin' scheme, what's with this one part
With spring-loaded jeans?