Revvin' up your Towncar
It's the big old model one
You can't drive it too well
The trunk's stickin' out, no fun

Highway to the old folks home
Drive into that old folks home

Oh no you missed your turn
So you cross lanes of traffic
You make people slow down
Even more, making them sick

You drive and it's dangerous
And your car is way too enormous

You'll never say whippersnapper
Until you get passed by in the really slow lane
And for some reason you go right
Out of your lane, before you turn left, it's insane

Eatin' early dinner
Snoozin' in soup wakes you up
You got a lot of coffee there
And shovin' more into your cup

Now you're in the old folks home
Not a pretty sight there in the old folks home
Highway to the old folks home
Won't you leave people alone

Get off the road, people moan
Discontinued Lincoln model that you own
Driving onto the endzone
Bloopers don't leave you alone
Highway to the old folks home
People cursing because you drive way too slow
Now you're near the old folks home
Drove into the old folks home