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Song Parodies -> "How'd They Abscond?"

Original Song Title:

"'Cause I'm a Blonde"

Original Performer:

Julie Brown

Parody Song Title:

"How'd They Abscond?"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

A mysterious prisoner escape? Captain McDumbass is on the case!
How'd they abscond? All I did was blink
And now they're escapin' from the world's securest clink
Left in a hurry, that part I understand
I'd hate to be locked up, but I'll still ask:
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Now my brain is hurtin', synapses rekindle
How did this escape work? Complex or real simple?
Call the squad, S-Q-U-A-D
How'd they abscond? Like them, it escapes me

Lookin' at the crime scene, empty cell from which they booked
Acid? Jackhammers? Sorry, I'm not a crook
So I can't envision how all this can be
C4's a curiosity, I'm lost
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah

They'd have to get from this place to outside, that's basic knowledge
Might be a small clue I found: this wall, someone bombed it
Scratch my scone, nyah, nyah, nyah
How'd they abscond? Nyah, nyah, nyah

A great escape it must've been to not get noticed
I was watchin' them and so to blame me's total bogus
Um, okay, it just clicked, okay, um, I did sleep
Oh yeah, okay, not on the job!
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah

I only have my rest at my own house, of course
Left my post to take it, doesn't really support
How I'm at fault, F-A-U-L-T
How'd they abscond? Such a big mystery

I just gotta say that bein' blamed cause my shift wasn't covered
Is, like, pure nonsense cause since when was it my duty to do that?
I can't be arrested, I still have to learn how they escaped
How was there no footage of those two escapin'? This broken cam'ra's weird
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah

It isn't possible, they were in view
Of the pris'ner oppos- just released? Shoot
How'd they abscond? Oh hell, I don't know
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah
How'd they abscond? Yeah, yeah, yeah

I swear, I checked the definition of "abscond" a thousand times to make sure it didn't specifically mean "to run off with a thing" and was actually the more general "to run off". Stupid brain.

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