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Song Parodies -> "Cause I'm a Bond"

Original Song Title:

"Cause I'm a Blond"

Original Performer:

Julie Brown

Parody Song Title:

"Cause I'm a Bond"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

This is for Timothy, Roger, Pierce, George, and that new guy.
Because I'm James Bond, I've license to kill
Never a Martini, it's just blood that I spill
Don't have to worry, about getting' too dead
There's always a Bond, one more pretty head
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah

I get women flirtin', I know how to charm her
And I never get germs, I'm wearin' my armor
Cause I'm a Bond, J.-B-O-N-D
Yes I'm a Bond, till I hit fifty-three

I've been to every place and attempted every stunt
I've killed every henchman and every hired grunt
Done many women "cept the one that loved me
I never did Moneypenny
So what?
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah

I get all the new toys, and I always sass old poor "M"
All the gadgets I destroy, and I don't pay for "em
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah

They say to play him you need talent and that theme song
Well, there has been seven Bonds and all but one has seemed wrong
Um, okay, who was it? Okay, um, don't tell me, oh yeah okay
Sean Conn'ry, Sean!
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah

I took an acting test and I flunked it, of course
No more Ian Fleming, but sequels we force
Cause I'm a Bond, B-L-A-N-D
Cause I'm a Bond till they don't make money

I just want to say that being chosen as this year's James Bond is like, a casting choice I'll remember far more than the script. Right now I'm an actor in my fourth year of handsomeness, but my goal is to become a director, and become God.

Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah

Girls love a hottie, and maybe it's true
Making them get naughty, is all that I do
Cause I'm a Bond, B-O_.I don't care
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a Bond, yeah yeah yeah

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

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Arwen - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
It may go without saying that when I was in the 4th grade, I thought this OS was the most brilliant song EVER...

...but it does need to be noted that, in spite of myself, it's still one of my favorites...and I LOVE James Bond, was sort of a requirement to be in my family.

"I took an acting test and I flunked it, of course" was my FAVORITE line...

Great job, Rick...very funny!
Rick D - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Super A. It's a favorite of mine, too. For those that don't know, this song was featured in the movie "Earth Girls Are Easy" also written by Ms. Brown. Not only is it a funny movie with a great cast, but has a long segment of Geena Davis running around in a bikini.
MasonR - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey Rick, LOL! I remember the OS well..."I can't spell VW but I drive a Porsche" was one of my favorite lines. I also got a kick out of "The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun" (she sings about the math teacher getting shot: "well It's really sad/but kind of a relief/see, I had this big test coming up next week!") but with school violence these days I guess it's not so funny any more. Julie Brown (not to be confused with MTV's Downtown Julie Brown) was a comic genious...anybody know what she's up to these days?
Ravyn Rant - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
"Duck, Magnum, duck!" I still have the OS on vinyl. Your parody has me shaken and stirred - with laughter.
Rex - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
What does Bond say when he gets a new gadget? "Thank Q." This was great!
Michael Pacholek - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
From Wikipedia: "In 1992, Brown was given her own sketch comedy show on Fox called The Edge, but unfortunately its quirky humor didn't have a mass appeal and it was soon cancelled. (Brown did, however, cast another San Fernando Valley native, Jennifer Aniston, as a regular on this series. She went on to become a superstar herself.) That same year, she released the Showtime television movie Medusa: Dare to Be Truthful. A scathing satire of celebrity Madonna and her documentary film Truth or Dare, it was hailed by critics as a comedic triumph. Julie followed its success with another satire film, Attack of the 5 Ft. 2 Women, which lampooned Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, as well as Lorena Bobbitt. (She continued to make television guest appearances and contributed voices to various cartoons including Animaniacs.) She has one son, born in 1993. She married Ken Rathjen in 1994, the year Attack of the 5 Ft. 2 Women was produced. In 1995, Brown collaborated on the production of a script she had co-written with director Amy Heckerling called Clueless. The film was a smash hit, and a TV series spinoff produced and directed by Brown was also popular. She focused on this show until its cancellation in 1999. In 2000, another series conceptualized, written and produced by Brown came into fruition. Called Strip Mall, it debuted on the Comedy Central network. However, like many series on said network, it only lasted two years before being cancelled. Since 2004, Brown has been a frequent commentator on several E! specials, including 101 Reasons the '90s Ruled, 101 Most Starlicious Makeovers, 101 Most Awesome Moments in Entertainment, and 50 Most Outrageous TV Moments." But Downtown Julie Brown is still better, and hotter. What can I say, I have this thing for women from Wales.
Larry Hensley - December 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny parody.

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