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Song Parodies -> "Great Velcro Ire (Crap Ain't Workin')"

Original Song Title:

"St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)"

Original Performer:

John Parr

Parody Song Title:

"Great Velcro Ire (Crap Ain't Workin')"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

One man's disdain for a particular fastening mechanism...that's right, buttons suck! Wait...
In a rush, don't have time to tie my laces on
And I find it's too easy to dislodge my thongs
I can't go outside in my slippers, mate
I'd look like some hobo and that's not okay
But what's lame is all that is left here to put on
Are the ones that I had assumed had been long gone
They won't fall away, won't strangle my feet
No, why I left them there is how they're strapped to me

Don't have laces on my sandals, got no tiny belt loops, right
Pull that fuzz-and-small-hook combo tighter and tighter
Ev'rytime that crap ain't workin', hopin' someone knows how I feel
With these shoes, it's always a-climbin', great velcro ire

Lose their fuzz with each move of on-and-off, it blows (really kinda blows)
And I don't like the slips I make when the grip goes
I can't take it, I'd rather have
Duct tape wrapped round my feet to ward off hot footpaths

I don't need my damn shoes flyin', yes, I've curled my toes to try
To keep them attached, still send 'em higher and higher
In that way, this crap ain't workin', not the only way, so I feel
My rage will always be a-climbin', great velcro ire
I don't like unplanned dismountin' from the clothes I need
I can feel great velcro ire churnin' in me, churnin' in me

I also don't like the crap that I find
Picked up from the ground, a pain in my hind

Little bits of grass, it's savin', tiny sticks it loves to find
Picked 'em all out again to get more next time
One more way this crap ain't workin', I don't need any little seeds
My internal fumes keep a-climbin', great velcro ire
Other things of mine are fightin' to get free, I'm sick of my
Trouser edge's tear, I find it wider and wider
Cause this stupid crap ain't workin', wanna leave 'em, I don't need
Aneurysms to keep a-climbin', great velcro ire
My rage for this shit is boundless, forced to wear 'em, see
Despite my great velcro ire churnin' in me
Churnin', churnin' in me
I can feel it churnin', hoo, churnin' inside of me
Ow-ow, yeah-eah-yeah

Velcro's apparently a to me!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Jonathan - October 08, 2018 - Report this comment
strap in 4 some 5s!
Agrimorfee - October 17, 2018 - Report this comment
Everything you have alway loved and hated about velcro, but were afraid to talk about. Nice. 555
Matthias - October 30, 2018 - Report this comment
You’re the king of taking boring everyday topics and turning it into hilarious parodies!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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