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Song Parodies -> "The Rise of the Great Paul Marine"

Original Song Title:

"The Rime of the Ancient Mariner"

Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:

"The Rise of the Great Paul Marine"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

RiP Paul Mariner, my favourite player as a kid, one of the reasons I became an Ipswich Town fan & definitely the reason I had the hairstyle I did! (Originally submitted & appeared within a week of his passing - since fine tuned & submitted it again)
See the rise of the Great Paul Mariner
From the North, oh to be a Pilgrim
Mesmerises match-day defences
Plays number nine, he'll score a hatful, wait & see

& the Ref plays on as a tackle passes by
Caught by his spell as Paul Mariner shoots on sight

Driven east to East Anglia, for a price
To a place to join Bobby's team
There a Butcher shows him of Gods of Rock
& in God's name what a stroke o' luck, it seems

& Ipswich sail on, South to the North
Through the West & East go the Tractor Boys, on & on

Paul Mariner's skills, the boy's a good omen
His teammates can't believe what he's done
He breaks the net & they just embrace him
& make themselves, his partners in crime

"Take 'em on & on & cross the ball to me
Take 'em on & I can score a goal or two"

Just get your cross-es in with a vengeance
A game o' two halves, the first has begun
His teammates bring good luck to Paul Mariner
Right foot or left, the dead ball is struck

"Take 'em on & on & cross the ball to me
Take 'em on & I can score a goal or three"

Play after play, play after play
He's struck the post & crossbar
He's tried most delicate of chips, he's only getting closer
Pass here, pass there - everywhere, &
All the fans did shriek
Pass here, pass there - everywhere, your prospects lookin' bleak

There goes Paul Mariner
In comes a cross from the line
Oh, how can he fail with the wind in his sails? - what a sight

See... onward we come
Onward he leaps, out of the Sun
See, they have no clue
They have no chance, 'gainst the one-two

Breathe & then catch your breath
We've rolled the dice against you
These wins Paul Mariner scores in belong to us now

Yes, two or three-one
They drop their heads, they've no defence
See, see they're bereft
Scores on his head, right foot & left

"One after one by this star studded team
Too quick be home or away
Each turned over, with a ghastly pang
& cursed they were outplayed
Five times fifty & two men
(Again be away or home)
With heavy thump, a lifeless lump
They drop down (except one)"

The search for more treasure, the prize
Paul Mariner again did rise
But two out of three treasures
Villains, they stole one from he

Power of the light blue moon
We pray that the season's not doomed
Have we been forsaken?
God's creatures are Ipswich, too

Then, the spell starts to break
The albatross falls from the neck
Setting us free, Europe can see
Captain hoists treasure again!

Hear the groans of the Norfolk turkeys
See them stir as they start to cry
Passing round two raised their spirit
Blind, they can't see, colour green is in their eye

& revenge is still sought, but it's in their heads
Cast into a trance & their nightmare carries on

UEFA Cup we finally lifted
& Paul Mariner sights his home
As he waves from the open-top bus
Football that night & Paul Mariner's comin' home

& then a thought came sailing towards him
It was a joy he could not believe
Likened it to, the birth of his three sons
Does not a life get better than this?

& a World Cup bow for England beckoned him
His medals remind Paul Mariner of his wins

Paul Mariner's bound to tell of his story
To tell his tale wherever he goes
Modest was he, so I tell it for him
Precious are those, few & far between

& we bid farewell, but not goodbye to him
& the tale goes on & on & on & on
© 2021 Grandpa (14.7.21) I'm no singer nor musician, so if you can perform it, please send me a version & lots of royalties!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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 5   2

User Comments

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Grandpa - September 19, 2021 - Report this comment
Title is of course, supposed to be (because it's about)... Paul Mariner (NOT Marine)

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