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Song Parodies -> "Bibleman"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

Bibleman is the worst influence on a Christian child that Christian entertainment has ever known. With his messages of homophobia, misogyny, Bible-thumping and violence, amongst other poor messages, it's no wonder so many good, Godly people hate his videos. I am one of those Christians who hates the series with a burning sentiment. For Bibleman is apparently stuck in the Old Testament, rather than reading about a loving God-man named Jesus Christ in the New. This is my 95th parody and fourth of Iron Maiden and at least two members of IM are devout Christians--drummer Nicko McBrain and bassist Steve Harris. What would they think of Bibleman? Speaking of IM's rhythm section, I am including them in the plot of the parody.
(During the sequence, Genereux, Harris and McBrain--the first a Catholic, the second a mainstream Protestant--presumably Anglican--and the third an evangelical--are at the LifeWay Christian Store (formerly Northwestern Bookstore) in Edina, Minnesota. They are looking for some good, solid Christian music, such as Skillet, Red or even Thousand Foot Krutch, when a strange TV show is broadcasting on the TVs over them...)

Stanza I.
There in the Christian bookstore, we saw the TV
Showing the Bibleman show and cowered in fear.
We went to the store cashier and we asked her
Whether the brainwashing right there would ever stop.

Refrain I.
Tell me when and why this legalistic crap
Should be ever broadcast to kids who don't know much better!
When his movies are shown, everyone will be hurt
With this un-Christlike, Pharisee drivel on the TV.

Stanza II.
We rushed back home to prepare 'gainst Thomas Nelson
A class-action lawsuit to bring them to their knees.
As soon as we filed in Nashville for a hearing next April,
The judge, he asked us a request we couldn't deny.

Refrain II.
"Will you go and make a foe to Bibleman
If you are Nelson to sue full five months from now?
You preach Christ crucified, so a Cross-man perhaps?
Whatever you do, make him formidable for the cause."

Stanza III.
Now we must make us a foe to this thumper
Of Scripture against what Christ said when He did preach
His gospel of a saving love to the shunned and outcast.
Behold our Agapeman, kid, and let him lead you!

Refrain III.
Soon we'll knock out of the TV Bibleman;
His BS will die and then God will send him to hell
For his legalist views that offend true believers
In the Gospel of love given to all humankind of good will,
All humankind of good will,
All humankind of good will!
Kids, don't watch Bibleman if you wish to learn the Bible through a TV show. Watch VeggieTales instead!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 6

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 4   1
 5   4

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