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Song Parodies -> "The Dentist"

Original Song Title:

"The Trooper"

Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:

"The Dentist"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I'll take incisors and your molars too
Looks that wisdom tooth is rotted through
So when you're in my chair and on your back
You'd better hope another tooth don't crack

The drill it turns, the whine begins
But in the dentist's chair no-one wins
You want so much just to get away
As I tell you "open wide and say:

You sweat with fear and you want to go
So I pump you full of N2O
And just to check that nitrous oxide smell
I take a sniiiff of the gas as well

I drill out root canals two inches deep
Pulling yet more teeth out in your sleep
When I'm finished and you wake again
I say you might feel a little pain...

You get a cup full of something pink
Which has a vaguely antiseptic stink
You take a swig and you spit it out
Another filling falls out down the spout

And as you lay there looking quite pathetic
Your mouth is numb from the anaesthetic
Now's my biggest and my deepest thrill
Knowing what you'll say when you see the bill:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   14

User Comments

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Rick D - January 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Writing wide open again, I see
Chris Pollman - January 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job, Phil. One of, if not the the best Maiden parodie(s) here. (Even though there aren't very man)
Aidan, Derby, England - January 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Hahahaha that is a top-quality parody, really funny, and has the best alternative chorus for the trooper ive ever seen. Brilliant. 10/10
manuel ferreira - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I too love iron maiden this is brilliant. Please sorry for my bad english
Wanda Maynard, KY - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Veru good job on parody!!!
Led/Floyd - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I love Iron Maiden. But N20= poisonous gas that kills? Still good parody.
Phil Alexander - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
N2O (Nitrous Oxide, aka laughing gas) is a poisonous gas that kills if taken in excess - but so's oxygen if you take too much. But, in context, it's what dentists usually use for general anaesthesia.
Adagio - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC 2005) DKTOS, but a funny read. 5's
Agrimorfee - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Biting humor. How appropriate to have a heavy metal dentistry song! DKTOS, but I liked reading it.
Rex - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC 2005) Reminds me of the song Steve Martin sings in "Little Shop of Horrors". Funny stuff.
Charlie Decker - April 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but a great read, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on pacing.
Melhi - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
D: 5 gold "Phil"lings. ;)
Johnny D - May 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) And then comes the Percocet ... and the swordfish.
Stuart McArthur - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) I just picture you with the mother of all chemistry sets out in your garage Phil - LOL - 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
The tooth hurts. Brilliantly structured and well filled.
Adam Eccleshall - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very funny :-)
Scathe - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-D) The last verse was the best.
MysteryGoat - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS; Of all the rock bands I listen to, I've never listened to any Iron Maiden.
Phil Alexander - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
MG- you should: they are, IMHO, the best rock/metal band ever, and one of the best bands of all time, period. First choice albums to look at are: Piece of Mind, Number of the Beast, Powerslave, Somewhere in Time (amongst others).
Arwen - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--I hate that I DKTOS, because I LOVE to hate the dentist!
Jeremy - June 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Superlatively good effort. Fits the pacing perfectly and re-awoke many childhood fears concerning the man in the white coat with the drill.
McNugget - October 19, 2008 - Report this comment
LOL one of best parodies
Al Smiley - October 19, 2008 - Report this comment
It is a lot that LSOH song Dentist. Yes, laughing gas is kind of like that Joker venom from Batman.

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