All My Ex's Sending Death Threats
Those Ex's are the chicks who want to kill me
Cause all my Ex's sending death threats
And that's why I'm always an absentee

Diana down in Louisiana
Fed-Exed me my own noose
The Freak Irene from Magazines
She stabbed me with a harpoon
And Allison she came undone and went trigger-happy
And Dimples suddenly got an impulse
To get the mob looking for me

All My Ex's Sending Death Threats
Those Ex's got some mace; they're out looking for me
Cause all my Ex's sending death threats
And that's why I'm hiding out in my RV

(Country Flashback)

I remember that one freezing winter
Where they went and snapped
That was the time I found my wife
With that one bum in bed
That transvestital mental patient
Dumped me there that night
But I always go speed date, it's hell
Every Thursday night

(Present)

All My Ex's Sending Death Threats
My Ex's is the race that wants to kill me
Cause all my Ex's sending death threats
Therefore my hiding here's a guarantee

Some folks think I'm hiding
Well, they got that right
Cause life be hell
If they found me