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Song Parodies -> "Pustule"

Original Song Title:

"Monkey"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

George Michael

Parody Song Title:

"Pustule"

Parody Written by:

Immoral Liberal

The Lyrics

(This is based on the official music video version.) So the same power-hungry "public health officials" (i.e. authoritarian quacks) who promoted mass hypochondria and locked down most of our nation over an over-hyped souped-up cold virus in 2020 have now declared an "emergency" in New York and San Francisco over the rapid spread of this so-called "monkey pox" virus among their homosexual/bisexual populations; yet they aren't shutting down any of the annual sex orgies that are undoubtedly super-spreader events for it or promoting abstinence or even recommending monogamy to any of its most likely victims and spreaders, i.e. primarily male pole smokers and rump riders; and these "public health officials" wonder why we don't "trust the science" (i.e. believe in their BS political narratives) anymore!
[*Simian noises*]
Ought to pull out! Come on, stop that!
Don't look now: there's a pustule on your crack!
Pull out! Come on, stop that!
Don't look now: there's a pustule on your—
Pull out! Come on, stop that!
Don't look now: there's a pustule on your crack!
Pull out! Come on, stop that! (That!)

Why must you do it?
Why can't you stop your buggery?
Something's open, you'll screw it!
Gotta spread your pustules around the country!
Why must you do it?
Why do you have to spread your pustules to the country? (Orgy!)
To the country? (Orgy!)
(Aye-dee-aye-dee-aye-aye-aye!)

It's called abstinence;
What you should do now,
And ought to do thence:
Like, close your brown eyes!
Shouldn't kiss things down there:
Not his man-meat plow,
Not his derriere... (There...)
(Down...) (Down there...) (There...)
(Down there...)(Down...)(Down...)
(Don't kiss him down there!)

Who would have guessed?
Of your minds, you're dispossessed!
If you had sense, you'd not screw anymore!
Though it won't kill—as I said—yeah,
You'll just wish that you were dead, yeah!
If your thinking weren't so hazy, crazies,
You'd know to lock your back doors!

Why must you do it?
Why can't you stop your suckery?
Something's open, you'll screw it!
Gotta spread your pustules around the country!
Why must you do it?
Why do you have to spread your pustules to the country? (Orgy!)
To the country? (Orgy!)
(Aye-dee-aye-dee-aye-aye-aye!)

You should get new friends;
Those who disavow
Plugging up tight ends,
And close their snakes' eyes! (Close their snakes' eyes...)
Feels like switchblades sticking in:
An aerator plow
Tearing up your skin!
(Your skin!)(Skin!)
(Your skin!)(Skin!)
(Your—)(Your—)
(It's breaking you in!)

You'd be distressed
If placed under house arrest,
But that's what you did to all of us before!
We've got good reason to doubt you;
We'd be better off without you,
'Cause you keep on grooming babies!
Do you want another Civil War?
(Civil War!)

Why must you do it?
Why can't you stop your sodomy?
Something's open, you'll screw it!
Gotta spread your pustules around the country!
Why must you do it?
Why do you have to spread your pustules to the country? (Orgy!)
To the country? (Orgy!)
(Aye-dee-aye-dee-aye-aye-aye!)

Why must you do it?
(Why must you do—)

(Orgy!)
(Ought to pull out!)
(Ought to pull—)
(Ought—)(Ought—)
(Ought to pull—)
(Ought—)(Ought—)
(Ought to pull out!)
(Come on...)
Oh, come on!

Ought to pull out! Come on, stop that!
Don't look now: there's a pustule on your crack!
Pull out! Come on, stop that!
Don't look now: there's a pustule on your—
Pull out! Come on, stop that!
Don't look now: there's a pustule on your crack!
Pull out! Come on, stop that!
Don't look now: there's a pustule on your—

Why must you do it?
Why can't you stop your buggery?
Something's open, you'll screw it!
Gotta spread your pustules around the country!
Why must you do it?
Why do you have to spread your pustules to the country? (Orgy!)
To the country? (Orgy!)
(Aye-dee-aye-dee-aye-aye-aye!)
Knock it off!

To the country?
To the country?

To the country?
To the country?
(Aye-dee-aye-dee-aye-aye-aye!)

Why must you do it?
Why can't you stop your suckery?
Something's open, you'll screw it!
Gotta spread your pustules around the country!
Why must you do it?
Why do you have to spread your pustules to the country? (Orgy!)
To the country? (Orgy!)
(Aye-dee-aye-dee-aye-aye-aye!)

Why must you do it?
Why can't you stop your sodomy?
Something's open, you'll screw it!
[Etc.]
Of course—much like the Wuhan Virus before it—the "monkey pox" is apparently not all that deadly to anyone whose health isn't already a bit frail. In other words, it probably won't kill you if you happen to catch it. You'll just WISH you were dead when you feel like you're being flayed with a potato peeler every time one of your pustules brushes against something.

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Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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A Chordette - August 07, 2022 - Report this comment
Monkey pox, Monkeypox, monk-Monkey Pox; Monkey Pox, Monkey Pox, monk-Monkey Pox ....

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