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Song Parodies -> "Malheur Savior"

Original Song Title:

"Father Figure"

Original Performer:

George Michael

Parody Song Title:

"Malheur Savior"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Hang on, stupid. Stupid, hang on.
That's all I wanted--
To take refuge from the gov'ment
With armed guys.
I'm not from Oregon--
Local folks say:
"Beat it!
Get a life!"

Buck knives, high jinks and live ammo
In a Humvee--
(In a Humvee...)
Maybe we'll outlast Obama,
Megyn Kelly?

Whoa, whoa...

We need more donuts,
French Vanilla coffee creamer,
And Coors Light--
Some woolly blankets
Made by American
For cold nights.

That Fed'ral Bureau of Land Man-
Agement hates me--
(They can't stand me...)
Why should they raise such a ruckus?
It's our land, see?

(Oh, oh, oh, Patriots!)
Follow me, your mallards hunter,
(Go crazy!)
Blast 'em from behind this blind!
I will be your rabbit skinner,
(Like my Daddy!)
Roast 'em with some borrowed thyme!
(Come and get me!)
I will free your Malheur fauna,
(Try to take me!)
Keep this refuge occupied
(My homies!)
Till I eat the boiled intestines
Of a porcupine!

So we took over
The refuge office and the gift shop--
What's the crime?
Cuz all we want is
Fed'ral land, free water,
Grazing rights!

Sometimes I think no one 'round here
Understands me...
(They can't stand me...)
The toilet paper ran out here--
But we can be

I will knock down ranchers' fences,
Let his cattle run around!
I will stop and stare at neighbors,
Terrorize this one horse town!
Calling all militia members!
Hate groups I will galvanize,
Till the day we're charged with federal,
State and local crimes!

If you are supportive
Like us on Facebook,
Send out a tweet,
Comment on Yahoo,
Thumbs up are sweet...

Remember the Hammonds, the ones who set fires?
Got nailed when they torched some grass and paid fines?
They're going to prison--
That won't be me!!!!!

Cuz with AK-47's
And RPG's
...Plainly, plainly,
For deer and geese...

(Tanks and tear gas won't make me leave)
The townies seem to think I should go...
(Waco was a helluva siege)
We'll hold on, hold on,
Cuz we got Cole-
Man fuel!

I will take this refuge from the
Bureau of Land Management,
I will change the Constitution,
Reconstruct the government!
With my trucker drinking buddies
I'll scare off the sheriff's wife
If I have to smoke a possum
Stuffed with Spam and rice!

I will beat Obama...
I will eat some creatures...
I'll create some drama...
Just like my daddy...
I'll be holed up at this refuge
Till I'm cruci-

┬ęBob "So, Come On, Stupid! Ammon! Ammon!" Gomez 2016

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.4
How Funny: 1.4
Overall Rating: 1.4

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   20
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ammon Bundy - January 16, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks for the song, Bob. I gotta go steal a car now.
Rob Arndt - January 16, 2016 - Report this comment
Didn't want to touch this one, Bob... but 555 on the parody. Am not a fan of either side, but as someone who has supported animals, I find the BLM's actions against wild horses and wolves offensive. They use a Judas Horse to lead other horses to their deaths or to be captured to be processed as dog food and cowardly shoot wolves from a helicopter, among other reprehensible acts.

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