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Song Parodies -> "Confess That’s Why I’m Falling - It’s Booze"

Original Song Title:

"I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Confess That’s Why I’m Falling - It’s Booze"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Had whiskey today
Big cup of it ‘bout half a liter
Tequila for tea I could yawnlessly say
I sang for hours beer lieders

And later that day
Brunch brought inebr’ate-y side
As gin won by noon; before two I’ll need rum
To displace any food that’s inside

I confess that’s why I’m falling - it’s booze
Wine in my veins made me prime-spent and through
Barfing with skill son, d’livrin’ vile chunders
Slurring with wonder dunderhead blunders
I confess I’m not enthralling - it’s booze

Some beer in a case
Dinner’s awash in some cans
Glib of speech deadened without lubrication
Un-sober beset is this man

Spate of liqueur
Plyin’ me tight - snifter swill
No score endeavour: I’m limply when stewed
Boor then I am; strife instill

And I guess that's why I’m crawling - it’s booze
I’m bacchanal - good absorbing these brews
Plastered and hooched up, pissed, belching bubbles
Stolichnaya vodka - now seeing double
And I’m blitzed, bombed and buzzed out on booze

(Musical interlude as our hero has vague hallucinations of scoring the winning goal in the cup final, kissing Cameron Diaz, and so it goes…)

Mate, watch me hurl
Drunk as a skunk, zonked as hell
Oh Lord, I’m schnockered un-glibly lush-view
Morphed to a mush-mouthish whelp

And I guess that's why I’m brawling - it’s booze
Fight with some man - will be time spent in hoose
Merry - unsteady - drowning my sorrows
Hangover’s coming, coming tomorrow
And my gout is prob’ly caused by the booze

(Liquored I’m tiltin’, look like Dean Martin)
I confess there’s no more balling - just booze
(Legless for supper, windy, three sheeters)
I confesh thash why I shprawling - ish boozshe
I confesh I quide ahpawling - ish boozshe

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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AFW - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
An honorable drunk, I must say...and quite high-larious
Al Literation - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Loved the liquor litany. "Sang bier leiders"...sehr gut!
Andy Primus - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
LOL @ the lines with barfing, bubbles, Dean & windy among others. First time I think I’ve seen bacchanal in a parody although I wouldn’t be surprised if JAB has used it before.
WarrenB - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Great word play whose recitation could be an effective sobriety test. You may want to submit this to the authorities.

There once was strong man named Lar
Who longed to be lawyerly star
A saloon he did lift
Then hurled it quite swift
And that's how big Lar passed the bar.
Dave W. - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Top shelf stuff here....Loved it all , especially the end with the drunk jibberish
TJC - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Went down smooth, M&P....Chunderin' three fifths yer way!
Lifeliver - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
You guys are great at whittling away at the original phonemes, making for lyric play at its best. Sounds a lot like my brother, who is sadly cursed with this demon. Ditto TJC - I eshpeshly like the shlurred ending too, and details like the Stolichnaya mark your creative range. Have five more tankerloads.
Lifeliver - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Oops, meant to say I was echoing Dave W - sorry Dave
Camchelon myDiaz - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
In your dreams...
Beck's™ 'L Nail Ya - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
The combo of alliteration and internal rhyming makes this one 200 proof (=555). Tequila for tea tickled, as did gin won by noon. Do we get the video of Merry unsteady? ;-D
Meriadoc - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Thank you so much everyone! It was a fun song to do. Kudus to Pippin for Stolichnaya and bacchanal and Dino and for adding me in (and I allowed it to stay - ha ha). I take credit for the slurred ending and beer lieders. No one picked up on my fave line though - sniff...

@Beck: We'll put it on YouTube when we do the recording... ;)
I Know The Feeling - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
"No one picked up on my fave line though - sniff..."

Tell me about it! (Been, done, hundreds of T-shirts)

"Morphed to a mush-mouthish whelp" is quite the tongue-twister, even when sober, but inspired. ... btw, I can twist my tongue (bend up each side to meet), which you may wish to file away for future reference...
Meriadoc - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Okay mister Tongue Twister, since I know you were dying to know but not wanting to ask, it was:

"No score endeavour: I’m limply when stewed" :D

And I was rather fond of the mush-mouthed line myself.

And your skills are duly noted, sir... ;-)
Do The Math And Consider It A Compliment - December 08, 2012 - Report this comment
The more great lines you have in a parody, the lesser the chance that any commenter will choose your favorite, correct? (Of course it is. ;) So if no one mentions your own pick, it's because there were too many from which to choose. :) :) :)

btw, it's been more than five years and almost 700 views, and no one (M/P included) has ever mention what IMNSHO was this writer's single best line ever, precisely because it changes so multum in such parvo (so to speak):

"The day the ewe, sick, died"

A single omitted phoneme twists the OS line's meaning to the parody's, a rather, uh, "large" change.
However, the reception in general was quite supportive, so no slight taken. Perhaps it's better not to hope or expect someone to cite an author's fave (esp. with two authors to placate ;), but rather let it be a pleasant thing if/when happens? ;-)

The other way to look at it is "De gustibus non disputandum est". ;-D

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