Dubya got run over by a reindeer
walkin' 'round the White House Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
but as for me and Ashcroft, we believe!

He'd been drinking too much eggnog
the Oval Office full of puke
making crank calls to the North Pole
had to calm Vlad Putin down so he won't nuke.

When we found him Christmas morning
Condi Rice screamed, "Oh my Lord!
There's a puncture from an antler!"
And Karl Rove said, "You mean, the man was Gored?"

Dubya got run over by a reindeer
walkin' 'round the White House Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
but as for me and Ashcroft, we believe!

We're so very proud of Jenna.
She's been taking it so well!
See her in there drinking highballs
while Laura sprays a can to hide the smell.

Cheney needs the Oath of Office.
Is he dead or just asleep?
And the thing that's really scary
is that Jeb says he's entitled to be Veep.

Dubya got run over by a reindeer
walkin' 'round the White House Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
but as for me and Ashcroft, we believe!

Missile defense is on the table
and the cutting of the tax.
Bad economy? Bah, humbug!
Unemployed men can enlist up for Iraq!

We've asked all the Secret Service
"How could Santa get so far?"
We'd like to blame this on Bill Clinton
or the ghosts of JFK and FDR!

Dubya got run over by a reindeer
walkin' 'round the White House Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
but as for me and Ashcroft, we believe!

Sing it, Poppy!

Dubya got run over by a reindeer
walkin' 'round the White House Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
but as for me and Ashcroft, we believe!