Something's in my nose
Something's in my teeth
Something's by my lip
Or fallen beneath

Was on a big date, it was just yesterday
Jessica laughed, didn't know what to say
Maybe next time, maybe I'll know

Went to the library
A big oil spot by my nose, yeah
Didn't know it
They looked at me I suppose
Nothing that they will say, yeah

There's some snot that's in my nose
Chocolate chips in teeth, need a hose
And there comes a point where I must say

Please, please tell me now
Is there something in my nose?
Is there something I should do
Because my nose I just blew
Do you feel a laugh cause something looks funny?

Please don't stare
Just tell me the problem
I can fix it
No I won't be offended
Should get a mirror

A pile of dirt or snow
That's right on top of my head
Bunch of sleep by my eye
"Doesn't look bad" you said
It's not so easy getting people to talk

There's a bee that stings my ear
Or bits of ketchup, wine or beer
But there comes a time where I have to say

Please, please tell me now
Is there something by my mouth?
Is there something I should do
Is the stain still goin' south?
Do you feel ashamed cause on me it shows?

Please, please tell me now
Is there something by my eye?
Oh and what can I do now
That would make it say goodbye

Please, please tell me now
Can you see what's in my ear?
Can I make it disappear
Each time that it comes near?

Please, please tell me now
What it takes to fix up there
Is there something in my hair?
What can I do to it