Here comes Nessie, she's a-splashin', thrashin'
A-gurgle-gurgle, in that Scottish lake!
Here comes Nessie, makin' scared children tremble
Though many skeptics are convinced she's fake!

"What's in that water, thing that is floatin'?"
"Oh yeah, that's just a log!"
In the meantime, she's smote men
Dragging screaming tourists into the bog!

Don't wanna try and trick this big scaly woman
Or else your cries you can't repress
'Cause you're in the Loch,
Scary Loch of Ness,
Full-of-myst'ry Loch of Ness!

Here comes Nessie, many bad horror stories
Have been told 'bout her misdeeds
Nessie's queen of all the grisly and gory
Drinks corpses as they bleed!

Those lurid details cause a commotion
Public just won't swim
Not to mention sun-lotion
Marinates the people just to her whims!

You're saying that you just don't believe it
But then the truth you will confess
Once you're in the Loch,
Freaky Loch of Ness,
Enigmatic Loch of Ness!

Oooo-weeee-oooo!

Here comes Nessie with a thirst for blood now
A-snappin', roarin', you can hear her cry!
Here comes Nessie, spelling doom for the people
As she is splashing, sending waves to the sky!

How will you get saved--you will be toast now
Swallowed up, her main meal!
But you know that she's grossed out
By the bathers that too much they reveal!

And after all her violence and murdering
Just in a tiny little Speedo you should dress
She'll spit you out
Back into the Loch of Ness,
Yeah, it's strange, the Loch of Ness!