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Song Parodies -> "Boring Fighter"

Original Song Title:

"Holy Diver"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dio

Parody Song Title:

"Boring Fighter"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Ah, the date of one's birth. Spefically, mine. And thus to celebrate, I'mma be a bit more niche than I usually prefer. Which means I'll be rambling about D&D for the next five minutes (well, four, this song's intro is loooooong).
Mmm-mmm-hmm-mmm-mmm-hmm
Yeah-eah, yeah

Boring fighter, know it's not your fault that of all PC's
Your playing style is a breeze
I'd get tired if I spent each fight with the same routine
"I'll stab him" Roll d20
Ev'ry time's the same, boring fighter, yeah-eah-eah-heah

I've never tried it, sure it can't be as bad as your face exudes
Run in and stab all the dudes, checked out
I've caught you yawning, man, I'll let you switch up for a nuanced fight
Give a rogue or monk a try
Right now it's the same, all the same

At least when it's downtime
You roleplay with zest and zeal, yeah-eah-eah
But when the monsters fly
You lay back and barely feel, mate

Boring fighter, which subclass did your human take?
Champion? Well, that explains how, how
How you're so tired, nothing interesting there that I've seen
Two fighting styles? More crits? Whee! Yeah

Boring fighter, not too much thought put into your fight scenes
No spells to cast, nosiree, no, no
I'd be tired if I slashed and sliced but my armour's sleeves
Had nothing for one to see
Ev'ry fight's the same, just the same
Stab him in the face, dumb orc face, yeah-eah-eah

Boring fighter, skill required?
Not much but math, jeez
Boring fighter, boring fighter
Your first character, true, but I would still snooze, boring fighter
Oh, boring fighter
Yeah-eah-eah-eah, dull fights, pretty lame, pretty lame, pretty lame
Boring fighter, boring fighter, oh, boring fighter
Hmm-mmm-hmm-mmm-mmm-hmm

To be fair, fighter's a good choice for getting started with how the mechanics of D&D work. And the other subclasses add a lot more flavour. You can be a Battle Master and spice up fights with fancy manoeuvres. You can be an Eldritch Knight and cast cool spells and never lose your sword. You can be a Gunslinger and straight up shoot people. Lotsa choices.

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 LittleLots
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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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