Well I, I thought wrestlin' was fake
But I just got speared by some asshole, buddy
Hit so hard it hurt my spleen
Thought that it was all made up
Now you're twistin' my left arm
Hurts a bunch, whole bunch (pain's high)
In over my head, dude
Didn't really think this through
See, I, I entered in this contest, buddy
Thought it would be so easy
But it's turned out not so fun
Resultin' in lots of harm
Mostly from this thug

You pin me right down, buddy
Right down like a wrestler, buddy
Right down, down, down
You pin me right down, buddy
Right down like a wrestler, buddy
Right down, down, down

Ow (ow, ow, ow)
Can't take another suplex, buddy
And wow (ow, ow, ow)
That phoenix splash came right the hell outta nowhere
(Kinda dazed, didn't notice)
Could you cut some slack for me?
Cause I'm not a wrestlin' buff
Watch online recaps for fun
Can't take one more punch

You knocked me right down, buddy
Right down like a wrestler, buddy
Right down, down, down
You knocked me right down, buddy
Right down like a wrestler, buddy
Right down, down, down

This isn't fu-u-u-u-u-u-un
I'm feelin' nu-u-u-u-u-u-umb

Think the ref's sayin' a speech
"Stop! Disqualification!"
I think that means you should stop
No more camel clutch

You just flunked this round, buddy
This round of this wrestlin' contest
This round, round, round
Cause you knocked me out, buddy
Me out with your wrestlin' prowess
Right out, out, out
You could go pro now, buddy
Pro now, be a wrestlin' fav'rite
Pro now, now, now (you screwed it u-u-u-u-u-u-up)
If you weren't banned now, buddy
Banned now, couldn't take directions
Banned now, now, now (worth my spilled bloo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ood)
You pinned me right down, buddy
Right down like a wrestlin' champion
Right down, down, down (you brutal du-u-u-u-u-u-unce)
But blew your chance now, buddy
Chance now, won't be wrestlin' champion
Kicked out, out, out (think I'll pass ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-out)