Don't get me out of my sleeping bag
It's far too early, dude
You say it's probably gonna snow
Oh no, don't say it's true
We got a message from the ranger man
"Wolves howling, disembowelling you"
My gun, where the hell is my gun?
Fell down a ditch yesterday

The blisters on my feet are killing
My socks smell like roadkill, I've got the flu and I
Can't find the insect repellent nowhere

Rashes and gashes, cuts and bruises
I think camping is for losers
Stuck out in forest deep
Knowing I'll get no sleep

Bottle of vodka in my pack
I'll get drunk tonight
Now those nasty raccoons are following me (oh no, not again)
I'm stuck with inedible food
Baloney, macaroni too
Busted flashlight, smoking my last Marlboro
I'm c**p at outdoor things
I'm covered in beestings
My tent's got a leak and a monsoon is due, wo-o-oh
Need an axe to chop some wood
Watching my fire go out

Rashes and gashes, cuts and bruises
I think camping is for losers
Stuck out in forest deep
Knowing I'll get no sleep

My mother said "go hug a tree"
I'd rather have a lobotomy... (repeat)