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Song Parodies -> "(I Just) Tried to Disarm"

Original Song Title:

"(I Just) Died in Your Arms"

Original Performer:

Cutting Crew

Parody Song Title:

"(I Just) Tried to Disarm"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Crazy man with a gun! I'LL STOP YOU *rrrrip SPLURT* Uh...I didn't mean to do that, I swear...
Oh, I, I just tried to disarm you, right
Litrally wasn't my inte-ent
Only tried to disarm you, right

People wavin' their guns 'round makes me fre-et
Normally this means that I freeze
But today I decided to do somethin' 'bout it
I know I don't look physic'lly able
Had to do more than hide behind a table
Who would've thought that a dwee-eeb like me could've done this?

Oh-oh-oh, whoa
Oh, I, I just tried to disarm you, right
Just wanted to make you harmle-ess
Only tried to disarm you, right
Oh-oh-oh, whoa
Oh, I-I, I just tried to disarm you, right
And now your arm's a bloody me-ess
I should've stayed awa-ay
Stayed right the hell awa-ay

Maybe I've should've just hit you with a fist
A big stick or a rock, you get the gist
I tried to make it neat, but nope, dismemberment
I don't know ho-ow I just made that mistake
I can't even lift a half-empty bee-eer crate
It's like I rolled a natural 20 my first time

Oh-oh-oh, whoa
Oh, I, I just tried to disarm you, right
Didn't mean to make you armle-ess
Only tried to disarm you, right
Oh-oh-oh, I-I, I just tried to disarm you, right
It made an impressive blood sprea-ead
I should've kept awa-ay
Kept all the way awa-ay

Nothin' 'bout this is right
Someone arrest me, I won't try to fi-ight
Unnecessary amount of rough force
True, I stopped the bad guy but still
I'm filled with remo-orse

Oh, I, I just tried to disarm you, right
Don't applaud me, I don't want i-it
Only tried to disarm you, right
Oh, I-I, I just tried to disarm you, right
"What had to be done" stop that shi-it
I should've stood in pla-ace
Not make a bloody spra-ay

Holy crap, I just listened to Bastille's cover of this song, frickin' awesome.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   1
 5   19

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - August 03, 2016 - Report this comment
I'm typing this one-handed and no don't mean that in a dirty way I mean some nut came along and ripped one of my arms clean off! ...but oh nevermind 5's BTW I've not heard Bastille's cover of this but I suppose I will now! it can't be any worse than Jay-Z's! God I swear rap just ruins everything!

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