I went down to the pet store yesterday
Didn't want a cat or dog; they're passé
Now I've got a useless lizard
Who is not too hard to find
Camouflage ain't brilliant, is it?
He's colour blind
He's colour bli-ind

Krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy chameleon
I'm in a ragehe's often beige
Put him in a sandpit; the bastard turned apricot!
I spent a lot.look what I got

All the pets I get are quite inferior
Now I've got a barn owl with myopia
St. Bernardthat's alcoholic
A greyhound with athlete's foot
Ten goldfish with diarrhoea
This isn't good
No freakin' goo-ood

Krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy chameleon
Oh, what's the use? He's just turned puce..
Droppin' down the food chain because he's completely sh*te
He's not too brightat night he's white..

Polar bears with hypothermia (..pothermia)
Carthorses with chronic hernias
Krummy pets always concern ya (concern ya)
I'm stuck with ya; can't return ya

Instrumental (..with harmonica part replaced by wheezing goats)

I'm a man with an affliction
Caveat emptor applies
And next door neighbours are bitchin'
Just because my
Hyena cri-ies.

Krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy chameleon
He can't catch flies
His tongue's downsized
Droppin' down the food chain because he's completely sh*te
He's not too brightat night he's white..

Krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy, krummy chameleon.