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Song Parodies -> "Chester Arthur's Theme"
Original Song Title:
"Arthur's Theme"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Christopher Cross
Parody Song Title:
"Chester Arthur's Theme"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Chester Alan Arthur, a.k.a. Chet or the Gentleman Boss, not elected, never even ran for office before he became Vice President, nominated as a compromise choice, sworn in as President by the gaslamps of his Lexington Avenue townhouse in the middle of the night after James Garfield finally died from the attempt on his life, dying himself through most of the term that wasn't his, and no major accomplishments to his name other than falling into the White House, is the epitome of the "forgettable 19th Century President." Still, I was able to write something about him. And if you're ever on the walkway of the Brooklyn Bridge, you can find his name on the dedication plaque, along with that of the Governor of New York, his Presidential successor, Grover Cleveland. And despite his corrupt past as Collector of the Port of New York, he was better than Harding, Hoover, Nixon and either Bush.
Once in your life they call you
Something that turns your life around
And the next thing you know you're heading for D.C. town.
Wake up and it's still with you
Even though Boatman Jim is dead and gone.
Wondering to yourself, "What do I do now?"
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
And the President is now you
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
The best that you can do
The best that you can do
Is do no harm.
Arthur once did as he pleases.
All of his life he's mastered graft.
He's more obscure than William Howard Taft.
Living his life with kidney disease
And knowing he can't campaign one more time
Who will keep him in national memory?
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
And the President is now you
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
The best that you can do
The best that you can do
Is do no harm.
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
And the President is now you
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
The best that you can do
The best that you can do
Is do no harm.
Something that turns your life around
And the next thing you know you're heading for D.C. town.
Wake up and it's still with you
Even though Boatman Jim is dead and gone.
Wondering to yourself, "What do I do now?"
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
And the President is now you
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
The best that you can do
The best that you can do
Is do no harm.
Arthur once did as he pleases.
All of his life he's mastered graft.
He's more obscure than William Howard Taft.
Living his life with kidney disease
And knowing he can't campaign one more time
Who will keep him in national memory?
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
And the President is now you
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
The best that you can do
The best that you can do
Is do no harm.
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
And the President is now you
If you get called "Gentleman Boss of New York City"
The best that you can do
The best that you can do
Is do no harm.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 2 | 2 |
User Comments
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Pretty good pacing...but I have some rhyme scheme issue...holding my vote for now...
Good 'nuff for this history buff. 5's
Good enough for me, too, Michael. 5s.
Knowing you, Johnny, I'm concerned you might study history IN the buff.
I would much prefer to MAKE history in the buff.
Chester Arthur became President exactly 100 years to the season before Christopher Cross' "Arthur's Theme" was a hit. Chester Arthur became President on Sept. 19, 1881. And 100 years later to the day--9/19/1981--"Arthur's Theme (Best that You Can Do)" was at #7 on American Top 40 (on the way to #1 later in fall 1981).
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