Joe Thornton (parody of Boston’s “Amanda”)

Joe, you played your one thousandth game,
and got your seven-hundreth A (eh).
I don’t think Sharks would be, where they’d be today
without you here, you’re a playmaker.
And last, playoffs we got close again,
now it’s time to end that trend.
There’s a game on tonight, will Sharks put up a fight,
or skate away, playing just half a game?

You are the leader of the Sharks,
it’s time to make your mark, Joe Thornton.
You gotta show ‘em where you stand,
gotta take a strong command, Joe Thornton.
We know it’s teal that you bleed,
and with you we’ll succeed, Joe Thornton.
We love you.

And after the game is through,
will you do a shirtless interview?
Did you slide on your back, did you beat down Getzlaf?
Did you shoot or pass?
Feel free to shoot more.
The Hart, Olympic Gold and Art Ross,
with no cup, some may think you’re “soft”.
But you’re better today cuz you’re better two-way
your Captain Thornton, yes you’re our leader!

(Musical Break)

You are the leader of the Sharks
it’s time to make your mark, Joe Thornton.
You gotta show ‘em where you stand,
gotta take a strong command, Joe Thornton.
We know it’s teal that you bleed,
and with you we’ll succeed, Joe Thornton
Oh Jumbo!

Our history,
in playoffs Sharks stagnate.
And I swear, I swear it’s not a lie Joe,
next season might be too late.
You, Sharks and us fans,
we can win this cup together.
It’s now or never,
cuz next season might be too late.
(too la-ay-ate)

Joe, ya big wooly mammoth guy,
please don’t let another season by,
for you not to raise the cup up high.