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Song Parodies -> "The Satnav Song"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"The Satnav Song"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

The satnav in my car is not the most sophisticated thing: it always tries to direct to main roads, however much further that will be. Driving down from Edinburgh, the route it was suggesting at one point was a hundred miles (nearly 25%) further than the route I was taking. I got very used to ignoring it telling me to turn around, at least until I worked out how to get it to shut up.
(Turn around)
There it goes again
I get a little annoyed at
Where the satnav wants to go

(Turn around)
There it goes again
& I'm a little bit tired
Of it thinking that I do not know

(Turn around)
There it goes again
I get a little bit angry
That it's wanting me to drive twice as far

(Turn around)
There it goes again
And I'm so fucking livid
That I very nearly total the car

(Turn Around, bear right)
Every now and then I stop and start
(Turn Around, left, right)
Think I'm gonna rip that thing apart

(Turn around)
Hell, no not again
It's got a little bit stupid
with the route it wants to take

(Turn around)
It starts to cause me pain
I feel a little bit helpless
And I nearly drive right into a lake

(Turn around)
Driving me insane
More than a little bit angry
And pretty soon someone's gonna pay

(Turn around)
Now it's getting plain
I'm gonna have to get out the car
And find someone to ask them the way

(Turn Around, bear right)
Soon I'm gonna rip that thing apart

(Turn around, left, right)
Now I'm gonna rip that thing apart

For the route it chose is shite
Going that way isn't clever
No, I don't need to turn right
If I do, I'll take forever
And I wanna arrive there tonight
And that way is too long

Following a SatNav's a bizarre rationale
I'll end up stuck behind a truck or in a canal
(in a canal)
I don't know where I'm going, I'm driving in the dark
It tried to take me straight through the locked gate of Hyde Park
I need to get there tonight
So the route needs to be right
(God, I hope the route is right)

Once upon a time
I was reading a map
Now I'm lost in Reading, in Berks
There's nothing I can do
The SatNav is shit in the car

Once upon a time
I knew where I should drive
Now I'm kinda lost in the dark
Going the wrong way
The SatNav is shit in the car

[Interlude driving round looking for road signs]

(Turn Around, bear right)
(Turn Around, left, right)

(Turn around)
Not sure that I'm sane
But I'm sure this ain't the place
I had intended to be

(Turn around)
Hold on, is this Spain?
Perdón, por favor,
¿dónde está el baño más cercano

(Turn around)
What d'you mean, Bahrain?
[Something witty in Arabic
That no one could be arsed to translate]

(Turn around)
Now I am in Seine
'cause this Parisian SatNav
Ne voulait que parler en français

(Faire demi-tour, gauche, droite)
De temps en temps, je tombe en morceaux
(Faire demi-tour, gauche, droite)
I wish it would stop saying where to go

'Cause now I'm off the beaten track
And there's no point trying to hurry
Both in front and at the back
Are articulated lorries
And I think they're both stuck in a crack
In a single track road
Together we must wait until the crane can arrive
So there really ain't no point in saying "Shut up and drive"
(Shut up and drive)
I don't know where I am
I could easily assume
I'm driving across Mordor, up and into Mount Doom
Yeah, really, maybe I might
Yes I'm gonna start a fight
(I'm sure there's a few orcs to fight)

Once upon a time I was
I was driving a car
Now it's driving me way too far
There's nothing I can do
The SatNav is shit in this car

Once upon a time I knew the right way to drive
Now I must pull over and park
Stuck in the wrong place
The SatNav is shit in this car

The SatNav is shit in this car
The SatNav is shit in this car
(Turn Around, bear right)
(Turn Around, bear right)
(Turn around)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   9
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Callmelennie - April 16, 2015 - Report this comment
I haven't been this moved by a parody, Phil, since "Total Eclipse of The Starks."
timmy1000 - April 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Been there and done that, although she's never directed me into Mount Doom. In Florida, I was directed to go past the hotel I was looking for (didn't see a sign) and drive another 2 miles and make a left turn (into a trailer park) and then 3 straight lefts, a right out of the trailer lot and two miles down the road and a left turn into the hotel, at which time I realized I had already been by it once. Sometimes, I just turn the sound off.
Jonathan - April 16, 2015 - Report this comment
funny this should be the topic of your parody Phil as just earlier today my brother's cellphone GPS was taking us around in circles trying to find an address finally we just gave up and went home 455
Leough - April 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Loved how far off the beaten track that device took you! Definitedly a problem that needs to be solved before people can take the self-driving car seriously!
AFW - April 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Another funny car parody...Cars are in overdrive, today...very descriptive..
Andy Primus - April 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Ha ha, I know exactly where you’re coming from with regard to satnavs not knowing exactly where you’re going to.
Peregrin - April 17, 2015 - Report this comment
Excellent. I am going to think of this now every time there is a story on the news (which is increasingly often) of how someone followed their Satnav and drove into a lake/off the side of a quarry/into a different country etc. Although, where I live, that last option is not an option...

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