Song Parodies -> This Laptop May Hit the Wall
| Original Song Title: | "Total Eclipse of the Heart" |
| Original Performer: | Bonnie Tyler |
| Parody Song Title: | "This Laptop May Hit the Wall" |
| Parody Written by: | Below Average Dave |
I'm at badave.com as always. . .
These opinions of Vista are based on my first view of it, the laptop I purchased this past weekend to be able to do updates on the road has Vista, and these problems have not been quite the same. . .guess they fixed some of it, still felt it was a strong idea though.
These opinions of Vista are based on my first view of it, the laptop I purchased this past weekend to be able to do updates on the road has Vista, and these problems have not been quite the same. . .guess they fixed some of it, still felt it was a strong idea though.
(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
my new computer starts
freezing and I have to shut it down
(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
I get quite a bit angry
when it feels like it's been loading for years
(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
I wanna pick up this laptop
and throw it out a fast moving car
(Crashing now)
Every now and then
I get a wee bit frustrated oh
and warnings drive me out of my mind
(Windows crashed last night)
When the heck is this thing gonna start
(Vista lacks big time)
Unlike XP this one isn't smart
(Causing frowns)
Every now and then it gets a little slow
from stuff that runs in the background
(Can't be found)
Every now and then it cannot find a file
it needs and then I have to hit restart
(Update Now!)
Every now and then when I am really busy
the computer wants to update all night
(Please not Now!)
Every now and then I get so sick of
updates that do not fix a flippin' thing anyway
(Paperweight waste guys)
I wish I had know just what I bought
(Like M.E., it bites)
This is not the O.S. that I sought
And it makes me want to fight
And it's no good for programmers
And the pop up block isn't right
Gotta turn it off forever
Because it's blocking all the websites
I wish Windows Vista was better
To be waiting 'til the problems they find
It makes me want to shoot the laptop, it's crossed my mind
Complaints like this ain't new, but this really missed the mark
Even the low price tag won't change these remarks
They need to fix this tonight
Or Apple may win me tonight
Although their prices are not right
Windows Ninety-Five had the Blue Screen of Death
and sometimes that M.E. wouldn't start
But I promise you dude
That Vista's design falls apart
When XP came out, seemed they got it right
But the contrasts now are really quite stark
Microsoft released
a platform I hate worse than warts
(Low on space, D Drive)
It was like that from the very start
(Low on space, D Drive)
It was like that from the very start
And my screen has just turned white
Ev'ry click is an endeavor
My connection is alright
Cable ain't slow whatsoever
I think that it does this in spite
When I call the tech line whomever
Takes my call asks the same crap ev'ry time
and on top of that they get English all maligned
I know this much is true, it's actually bizarre
Their "tech" is half the world away, jobs should be ours
So instead I should write
By then I will've made this right
I'll kick it right outta my sight
When I was a kid, I just loved Microsoft
But Vista left a taste that is tart
Gotta know it's true
That Vista was bad from the start
Did they lose their mind? did they test it at all?
Hope that this product is recalled
Vista needs to change
or This Laptop May Hit the Wall
This Laptop May Hit the Wall
Bring XP Back Guys
Bring XP Back Guys
Bring it back
Every now and then
my new computer starts
freezing and I have to shut it down
(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
I get quite a bit angry
when it feels like it's been loading for years
(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
I wanna pick up this laptop
and throw it out a fast moving car
(Crashing now)
Every now and then
I get a wee bit frustrated oh
and warnings drive me out of my mind
(Windows crashed last night)
When the heck is this thing gonna start
(Vista lacks big time)
Unlike XP this one isn't smart
(Causing frowns)
Every now and then it gets a little slow
from stuff that runs in the background
(Can't be found)
Every now and then it cannot find a file
it needs and then I have to hit restart
(Update Now!)
Every now and then when I am really busy
the computer wants to update all night
(Please not Now!)
Every now and then I get so sick of
updates that do not fix a flippin' thing anyway
(Paperweight waste guys)
I wish I had know just what I bought
(Like M.E., it bites)
This is not the O.S. that I sought
And it makes me want to fight
And it's no good for programmers
And the pop up block isn't right
Gotta turn it off forever
Because it's blocking all the websites
I wish Windows Vista was better
To be waiting 'til the problems they find
It makes me want to shoot the laptop, it's crossed my mind
Complaints like this ain't new, but this really missed the mark
Even the low price tag won't change these remarks
They need to fix this tonight
Or Apple may win me tonight
Although their prices are not right
Windows Ninety-Five had the Blue Screen of Death
and sometimes that M.E. wouldn't start
But I promise you dude
That Vista's design falls apart
When XP came out, seemed they got it right
But the contrasts now are really quite stark
Microsoft released
a platform I hate worse than warts
(Low on space, D Drive)
It was like that from the very start
(Low on space, D Drive)
It was like that from the very start
And my screen has just turned white
Ev'ry click is an endeavor
My connection is alright
Cable ain't slow whatsoever
I think that it does this in spite
When I call the tech line whomever
Takes my call asks the same crap ev'ry time
and on top of that they get English all maligned
I know this much is true, it's actually bizarre
Their "tech" is half the world away, jobs should be ours
So instead I should write
By then I will've made this right
I'll kick it right outta my sight
When I was a kid, I just loved Microsoft
But Vista left a taste that is tart
Gotta know it's true
That Vista was bad from the start
Did they lose their mind? did they test it at all?
Hope that this product is recalled
Vista needs to change
or This Laptop May Hit the Wall
This Laptop May Hit the Wall
Bring XP Back Guys
Bring XP Back Guys
Bring it back
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved
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User Comments Follow...
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Funny write, BAD, and I can relate -- to a degree. The laptop I bought awhile back was loaded w/ Vista and, worse, a bunch of "helpful" HP OEM add-ons (all of which I immediately ditched). Altho' the slowness you describe was very evident at first, but take heart -- Vista must include some adaptive mechanisms as it has over time become speedier than my own adaptation to it can explain alone. My main complaint -- and it's a big one -- is Vista's pushiness re "helpfully" organizing your materials for you. You _are_ right, tho', that XP finally "got it right", and I _am_ glad that my primary computer remains the XP-running desktop that hosts my home LAN. :-)
This is the reason I bought a Mac laptop :) I thought it was a great idea, and love the OS. I'm still stuck with Vista at work, and it drives me bananas on occasion.
great idea and funny write Dave - I sense this may have been a cathartic process - 555
sir B+A+D, nice write, sir ! But I leave the paper Jams, & HardDrive failures to my employer ! ! . . . or my princely nephew!
Can't remember how the song goes outside of the refrain, but I'll support this. It reads like a well-written computer rant outright.
Just remember this bit of advice: whenever your PC wants to update something, select "bite me". Especially loved the third stanza.
Thank you Stan, Jeff, Stu, LilNoDrive, Glen and Merry:) Was fun to write absolutely.
It's cruel irony that as soon as you posted a song about a computer crash your primary computer at home crashed. That's not a funny coincidence, but strange nonetheless. Good luck getting your computer at home fixed, hopefully Red Ant can take a look at it and repair it, because we're going to miss you around here, and with Agrimorfee gone and now you we're losing parodists left and right. Anyways, I thought this one was very well-written and all around hilarious and a perfect topic for this round. I have used Vista before... I too am not a fan, but I hate Macs more.
(Ages2) I can only indirectly relate to this one: I've never used Vista, but my older brother has, and he got angry at it as well. These days he hasn't complained at all. Anyway, great job, 555, and good luck on getting your actual computer fixed.
AGES...amen to this one, Dave. I paid extra to have XP put on my newest laptop...I'm just a little too scared of Vista.
(AGES) This parody didn't crash, though it may have blipped in pacing here and there. Eh! Good stuff, and may the Good Computer Fairy sprinkle her healing power upon your laptop. 5-5-5.
I agree with you. This was a strong idea and very well executed. Running XP here (can you tell?)
Still love it...see above!
Stopped back after hearing the OS. Um, great work here. THe whole thing was very solid, but the 'Blue screen of death' stanza was my epic highlight
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