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Song Parodies -> "Christmas Isn't Fair!"
Original Song Title:
"Livin' On A Prayer"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Bon Jovi
Parody Song Title:
"Christmas Isn't Fair!"
Parody Written by:
Wendy Christopher
The Lyrics
Not really one of my best efforts, but I wanted to get into the Christmas spirit....
On a turkey farm
‘Bout December time….
Tommy used to gobble a lot
Turkey feed was crap, but that’s all he got…. so tough, ooooooh…… so tough
Gina was his proud fiancée
Everything was great, ‘til that winter day turned rough, ooooooh…… so rough
When Tommy said “Oh hold on, this don’t look fun
I think it’s Bernard Matthews* and he’s packing a gun!
He’s picked me out as his Christmas number one!
Let’s go on the run!”
WOAH….. does no-one care?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Jump that fence, and get out of there
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
They knew it was chicken to run
But they took a chance, if they hadn’t they’d be done… and stuffed, ooooooooh…… real stuffed
Called up the RSPCA**
The man on the end, well he answered “So you ran away? Okay……
“If you can hold on, you’re off the hook
Just let me ask some questions, do it all by the book
What do you weigh and… how long d’you take to cook…?”
That guy was a crook!
WOAH… does no-one care?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Every year, mass poultry despair
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Christmas isn’t fair!
Well for a turkey, Christmas is a crock!
You’ll roast on the day then they’ll boil you for stock!
WOAH……. no-one will care
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Can’t they try vegetarian fare?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
WOAH….. the world don’t care
WOAH-OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Fast and loose, we’re a fugitive pair
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
(Repeat to fade, as they waddle over the horizon!)
‘Bout December time….
Tommy used to gobble a lot
Turkey feed was crap, but that’s all he got…. so tough, ooooooh…… so tough
Gina was his proud fiancée
Everything was great, ‘til that winter day turned rough, ooooooh…… so rough
When Tommy said “Oh hold on, this don’t look fun
I think it’s Bernard Matthews* and he’s packing a gun!
He’s picked me out as his Christmas number one!
Let’s go on the run!”
WOAH….. does no-one care?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Jump that fence, and get out of there
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
They knew it was chicken to run
But they took a chance, if they hadn’t they’d be done… and stuffed, ooooooooh…… real stuffed
Called up the RSPCA**
The man on the end, well he answered “So you ran away? Okay……
“If you can hold on, you’re off the hook
Just let me ask some questions, do it all by the book
What do you weigh and… how long d’you take to cook…?”
That guy was a crook!
WOAH… does no-one care?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Every year, mass poultry despair
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Christmas isn’t fair!
Well for a turkey, Christmas is a crock!
You’ll roast on the day then they’ll boil you for stock!
WOAH……. no-one will care
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Can’t they try vegetarian fare?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
WOAH….. the world don’t care
WOAH-OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Fast and loose, we’re a fugitive pair
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
(Repeat to fade, as they waddle over the horizon!)
*Probably the most famous turkey farmer in the UK, largely because he used to appear in his adverts claiming that his turkey-based products were "bootiful."
**Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
**Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
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A nice job, did you do a bunch of research on this, or just wing it? :) Liked the gobble line.
Great matching to the original song (TOS). Yeah, Christmas time would be rough for a turkey...:
Farmer: "Well, turkey, your time is up."
Turkey: "Don't I get a present before I go?"
Farmer: "Your present? We didn't kill you for Thanksgiving!"
Farmer: "Well, turkey, your time is up."
Turkey: "Don't I get a present before I go?"
Farmer: "Your present? We didn't kill you for Thanksgiving!"
I agree with Jeff and red. 5s
Quite profound, and humorous
Sheep yesterday, turkey today. Love the animal viewpoint...great premise, and very funny. This is no turkey!
"they knew it was chicken to run"...very nice line. I feel bad for poor Tommy and Gina, but I feel good because I got to read this.
LOL!!! Loved it, great pacing and very funny! If this wasn't one o your best i look forward to reading ones that are!
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