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Song Parodies -> "Christmas Isn't Fair!"

Original Song Title:

"Livin' On A Prayer"

Original Performer:

Bon Jovi

Parody Song Title:

"Christmas Isn't Fair!"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

Not really one of my best efforts, but I wanted to get into the Christmas spirit....
On a turkey farm
‘Bout December time….

Tommy used to gobble a lot
Turkey feed was crap, but that’s all he got…. so tough, ooooooh…… so tough
Gina was his proud fiancée
Everything was great, ‘til that winter day turned rough, ooooooh…… so rough

When Tommy said “Oh hold on, this don’t look fun
I think it’s Bernard Matthews* and he’s packing a gun!
He’s picked me out as his Christmas number one!
Let’s go on the run!”

WOAH….. does no-one care?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Jump that fence, and get out of there
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!

They knew it was chicken to run
But they took a chance, if they hadn’t they’d be done… and stuffed, ooooooooh…… real stuffed
Called up the RSPCA**
The man on the end, well he answered “So you ran away? Okay……

“If you can hold on, you’re off the hook
Just let me ask some questions, do it all by the book
What do you weigh and… how long d’you take to cook…?”
That guy was a crook!

WOAH… does no-one care?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Every year, mass poultry despair
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Christmas isn’t fair!

Well for a turkey, Christmas is a crock!
You’ll roast on the day then they’ll boil you for stock!

WOAH……. no-one will care
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Can’t they try vegetarian fare?
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
WOAH….. the world don’t care
WOAH-OH! Christmas isn’t fair!
Fast and loose, we’re a fugitive pair
WOAH – OH! Christmas isn’t fair!

(Repeat to fade, as they waddle over the horizon!)
*Probably the most famous turkey farmer in the UK, largely because he used to appear in his adverts claiming that his turkey-based products were "bootiful."

**Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
A nice job, did you do a bunch of research on this, or just wing it? :) Liked the gobble line.
Red Ant - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Great matching to the original song (TOS). Yeah, Christmas time would be rough for a turkey...:

Farmer: "Well, turkey, your time is up."
Turkey: "Don't I get a present before I go?"
Farmer: "Your present? We didn't kill you for Thanksgiving!"
Stephen Harrington - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I agree with Jeff and red. 5s
AFW - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Quite profound, and humorous
Dee Range - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Sheep yesterday, turkey today. Love the animal viewpoint...great premise, and very funny. This is no turkey!
Invisible Boy - December 08, 2007 - Report this comment
"they knew it was chicken to run"...very nice line. I feel bad for poor Tommy and Gina, but I feel good because I got to read this.
Serevi - December 08, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL!!! Loved it, great pacing and very funny! If this wasn't one o your best i look forward to reading ones that are!

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