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Song Parodies -> "Avocado Pear"

Original Song Title:

"Living on a Prayer"

Original Performer:

Bon Jovi

Parody Song Title:

"Avocado Pear"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

On the surface, this IS about a salad, but therapists use surface issues as a clue to the real problem...

Tommy likes a salad for lunch
His fridge is nearly bare
he's down on his luck
it's tough
....SO tough

Gina hasn't been to the store
she's watching TV
she knows she hasn't pleased
her love
...HER love

Says she'll make a sa-lad.....with what she's got
doesn't make a difference what is in it, or not
we've got cucumber, and quite a lot
of stuff....
we'll - give - it - a - shot

"NO!" (cried Tom)......"we're SO not there
WE!....NEED! avocado pear
believe me girl....we need it I swear
SLI - CES!......of avocado pear"

Tommy gets his back right up
he's puffing out his chest
to make him look, oh, so tough
.....SO tough

Gina thinks of running away
She says the salad's fine
Tommy whispers babe "it's not okay!

"I know it's got let-tuce, and cheese, and stuff
it doesn't even matter if there's more than enough
a salad's not a salad if vari-et-y aint there....
it's - SO - not - fair!"

"WE'RE!......not halfway there
WE!...NEED! avocado pear
all you lie there and stare
WITH....OUT! avocado pear"

AVO-CADO PEAR!!!!!!!!!!

(wild guitars)

"We BOTH do...
our share of tasks!
I just want my salad, it's
---[key change]----

WE'RE! not there
WE!....NEED! avocado pear
believe me girl.... we need it I swear
SOFT!....FLESH!....of avocado pear"

WE'RE!.......not halfway there
WE!....NEED!.... an avocado pear
all you do..... is lie there and stare
WITH....OUT!..... an avocado pear"

(more fleshing out of the chorus, then fade)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   4
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I can totally see them fighting, Stuart! Great job! 5s...
Jeff Reuben - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent. Ap-pear-antly one of the best of the day!
Johnny D - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
There salada good stuff tossed in that there pearody.
Stuart McArthur - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen - We all like a good fight, don't we? :-)....thanks Jeff, hope you liked your coffees :-).....nice one Johnny, thankyou
Meriadoc - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmmmm..... I suspect that at the root of this one is more than salad... :-O
Stuart McArthur - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
hmm,yes, some VERY deep-rooted issues involved here Meriadoc
Peregrin - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Good one Stuart, I note this followed M&P's pear of parodies...!
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Lettuce all enjoy a god salad whenever we're up for it.
Stuart McArthur - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
nice one, K1chyd!!
Johnny D - November 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey K1chyd, what's a "god salad"? A little Yahweh, some fresh Rama, a hearty helping of Hare Krishas, some Marduk-parsnips, a dash of Osiris, some grated Zeus with Jupiter-capers, a cupful of Odin, two handfuls of Aphrodite (yum!!), three thunderspoons of Thor, a leaf-o-Shiva, a palm-o-Brahma, and lots and lots of Balsamic Allah-dressing?
Stuart McArthur - November 01, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL Johnny - you never miss! I eat baked beans by the thunderspoon by the way :-)
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny! Don't give away the recipe!
Agrimorfee - February 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very funny sub a competitive round like this, though, it falls a bit on the podium for so many of the OS words, but again, very funny.
Matthias - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
A very old one by you Stu... So it's not nearly as funny or as impressive as your newer work, but this was still a pretty good parody to one of my favorite songs.
Below Average Dave - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Um, I found this one to be very funny. the idea of being really hungry and basically being told, your having Random Salad, and pulling it off to the feel of TOS, cool
Melanie Lee - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) You naughty boy, you! Loved the imagery! I found the pacing a little rough, and I found it amusing but not hilarious, so I'll give you a 5-4-5. BTW, you might enjoy this image from the Georgia Diner in Elmhurst, Queens, NY. Just look at that peach!
Jeff Reuben - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Funny stuff here, long enough ago that it was like reading for the first time again :) Nice pearody
Red Ant - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
It would appear that you had a similar mindset as me as a newer author - nail the pacing, and let the chips fall where they may. This was pretty good, Stu. Although I don't normally issue challenges, I will in this case: a rewrite of this song with the same title, but with the humor you are so excellent at working in these days. Still 5s, but no "wow" factor. You spoil me, lol.
Stuart McArthur - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
thanks everyone :-)

thanks Jack - yeah, you're right - I was focussed on the pacing (you know how high an opinion I have of my own pacing ! ;-)) at the expense of humour - I was also trying to be sexually oblique, and each of the two aims compromised each other - not a parody I'm proud of -as for ABC(C)s - well, I'm clean out of those altogether :-(

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