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Song Parodies -> "(You're 2/3 There) Orchs Are Scum Aplenty"

Original Song Title:

"Living On A Prayer"

Original Performer:

Bon Jovi

Parody Song Title:

"(You're 2/3 There) Orchs Are Scum Aplenty"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

This is the second part of my parody trilogy about the Lord of the Rings movie series. For best effect: Try to imagine LotR fans singing it while in the theater, watching the second movie for the umpteenth time.

Once upon an Age
Very long ago...

Boromir has fallen, he´s dead
Legolas is hot, and Frodo has fled
the "hood", for good
Aragorn´s been running all day
Gandalf´s pretty fly, he´s no longer gray
He´s white, he´ll fight

He says; we got to hold on, defend this land
It doesn´t make a difference that my blood´s in demand
We´ll back each other, that´s bloody grand
At Helm´s, we´re making a stand

Oooh, you´re two thirds there
Oh-oh, Orchs are scum aplenty
Toss the dwarf, you´ll make it I swear
Helm´s Deep, kill another twenty

Gimli got his axe and it flies
Now he´s chopping Orch, and he cuts'em down to size
his beard, Oh Merde!
Noone dreams of running away
They fight through the night, Orchs are shouting; "Die another day"
Make way

Walls are falling, fight now, defend your land
Gandalf´s gonna make it, with his magic at hand
You´ll meet each other, and Rohan´s band
At Helm´s, you´re making a stand

Oooh, you´re two thirds there
Oh-oh, Orchs are not that nifty
Crack their heads, it´s easy I swear
Helm´s Deep, kill another fifty
Split them for a threesome

You got to ride out, ready or not
You´ll die in this fight if that´s to be your lot

Oooh, you´re two thirds there
Oh-oh, Gandalf´s back with riders
Take the hint and you´ll get it I swear
Oh-oh, King to be is Strider

Oooh, you´re two thirds there

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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neminem - November 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Neminem: I´m not really sure how to interpret your question-marked comment. But the Orchs doing battle in the end of the second movie are of course the Super-Orchs (half Orchs, half Human, all Scum) known as Uruk-Hai. I´m using that word in the o-a-intro...
Arwen - November 29, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm pretty sure the comment was more on the spelling than on the species. Anyway...anyone who can work the word "merde" into a song lands themselves pretty high on my list...nice work...
Arwen - November 29, 2003 - Report this comment
And actually, the Uruk-hai are an Orc/Goblin hybrid...just FYI...
neminem - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Looking through old comments. Yes, it was a spelling comment. I've never seen it spelled with an h at the end before. Uruk-Hai I'm pretty sure you spelled correctly, though ;-).
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Neminem: Looking through old comments myself I saw this. I wrote these two parodies before I picked up the English spelling of Orcs. In the Swedish books and Swedish version of D&D that I used to read and play when I was younger it was, for some reason, spelled Orchs, and I didn´t reflect upon the difference at first. Arwen: Orc/Goblin. OK. Point taken.
Phil Alexander - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
IIRC there's one point in the book where someone (Legolas?) says "Yrch" when orcs turn up - it didn't surprise me to see it spelt with an h. Makes a good trilogy, Peter.
Glen S - February 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice use of the word MERDE in this. And great series :c), another excellent entry

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