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Song Parodies -> "Fractured"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Rhymitis anyone? This one's about the toughness of hockey players everywhere. . PLEASE NOTE: The rhyming with itself IS intentional, they did that in the OS and where they did it, I tried my best to do it. . .Invisible Boy--you will pay for this --wink-- --wink--
Bones are now blown
Breaking and I moan
Fell this weekend
I am frail at most

Crawl, oh crawl
Cannot feel my thighs
Still I'm playing hockey
Banged each night,
I'm Fractured

Sacked my back
I feel it crack
Teeth are falling
as the sticks go 'WHACK'

Tape to tape
Don't hit me dude!
I don't think he's stopping
Used my head for mopping
I'm fractured

Wasn't ready
Now, on the ice I lie
Still fans waving
Yes, waving so kind
Cash is fun, cash-it rules
Cashe' is cool
And I go plop
I drop
Take shots, make the goalie flop
And the crowd always roars
And that's each time I score
And each game's so tight
And it's loaded with fights
And we want the crown
Stanley come to town!
And now I show you my scars
And it's all in good fun
And hey we won
And although my head
Is still bleeding red
Oh then the summer at the bars
I can't drink that much, healing scars
Fixed my phalanges, carpals too
Fibula--please help me dude
The pain won't stop
I keep healing scars
Oh man there's always scars
I lay down at night, I can't go far
Hurts from head to feet
Ear to ear
From week to week
Bun to Bun
Tan to tan
and brow to brow
I'm still in woe
But I'll heal the scars
This hockey star
Can't walk too far
from hall to hall
Sore, so sore
Fall and fall
I cannot stand at all

Please cure
What's endured
On the ice OY!
My veins in pain
Feeling slain
Some think that I am insane
Please don't stick CHOP!
Damn rough jocks

No longer plea
Won't get mercy
Just watch or I may break your knees
'Cause I'm sick of scars
and seeing stars
When your knees are gone
I showed my brawn, gave you a chase
and then you went and fell down on your rookie face
And I won't stop
And you will drop
Just be tough
Red hot
'Cause I healed my scars
Now you'll see stars
and I'll go far
The Stanley Cup sits in my car
This has been a Below Average Dave production, burp, All Right Reserved.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
EXCELLENT! Vote 5 One, Vote 5 Two, Vote 5 Three!!
Matthias - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't know why you were saying that this one would be confusing. It was nothing like "Beat You In The Fight" this one I followed along to perfectly, and the word rhyming with itself also worked, although at first I was a bit iffy about doing that. Now I think this one should get recorded, and it being the first rap song that hit Number 1, I'm sure you'll be able to find a backing track for it.
alvin - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
great job on a tough song
Jack Wilson - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
This is awesome! 5s
littleICEcakes - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . carfeul Sir, what you put on ice . . .
Jason - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Very good! 555
Below Average Dave - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee: Thanks buddy--I hope this is the beginning of my snap out of mediocrity I was stuck in the last two rounds of Artistry.
Matthias: Thanks for the vote of confidence, I'm my own worst critic, but seeing it posted--it's actually a lot better than I give it credit for, I often have the highest hopes for my worst songs, and the lowest for my best (I thought average of Antarctican Terrorist till I paced it the next day--that's just because I'm weird)
Thanks also Alvin, Jack Wilson, Little Ice Cakes, and Jason!
Jonathan S. - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm familiar with the singing verses (at least in pacing), but...I forgot a fair amount of the rap verses, parially because I don't remember the version I listened to being quite as long as the one in your parody. Once I've gotten a re-listen (assuming that's a real word), I'll cast my vote. Nevertheless, this work was still amusing.
Matthias - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Still amazed that you were able to pull this one off. It's like a short and even harder Blinded By The Light. Quite the accomplishment.
Invisible Boy - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
First...who was the idiot who entered this OS ? oh yeah...I did. I guess when I saw that pic of Debby Harry with your name on her shirt, I couldn't resist. It's hard to believe that when this song came out it was a "new" concept in music and everyone was saying that "rap" (get it ? RAP-ture) was going to be the next big thing. have to admit, the song does groove.

I'm so glad you took the time to do such a great job with this. I know how tough it was (my idea was "rupture"). Loved when you named the bones. Super Job !!!
Kristof Robertson - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(Challenge) This contest has been a real bass turd, hasn't it? :-D. Excellent work, Dave....particular your improvement of the appalling white girl rap. Grrrreat stuff. 555
Jack Wilson - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
See above!
bobpiecheese - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Well, you got stuck with the suckiest song, Dave (in my opinion, anyways), but you came through smelling like roses - and covered in bruises from the look of it. Well done BAD! 555 pucks for you!
Guy - November 22, 2008 - Report this comment
BAD - I was unfamiliar with the OS. I listened and thought you did well with what you had to work with. Good luck in the comps.
Agrimorfee - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See my comment above, and your reply. That will probably hold true!
Rex - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) You scored a goal with this one. Well played.
bobpiecheese - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above! Still great.
Matthias - December 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Wow!!! This was extremely epic, I'm still wowed by what you did with song. It's such an annoying OS, and you turned it into a pretty bang-up job parody. I think you're probably going to win the Blondie round with this epic parody.
Invisible Boy - December 03, 2008 - Report this comment
What fun to re-visit Dave. And, to remember that this was a sentence I guess I imposed on you.
Still great rhymes and a great effort...

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