He's watching the T.V. alone in his room
He would have gone out but discovered a new Loony Toon
He is so broke, he can't afford pot
We wish we could disown him, but after all
He's the only thing that we got
Thanks a lot!

Help, help, help get our boy some work
Like a telephone man or a grocery clerk
Help, help, help, someday he'll be big
Why in the hell won't someone give him a gig?

He's gotten a girlfriend, we all said HURRAY!
He'll get off his butt now that he's got someone for to pay
And we hope that, he'll throw in some rent
Because up to now we have had to cough
up with every cent
Get a tent!

Help, help, help, get our boy some work
Because very soon he will drive us berserk
Help, help, help, we know he's real smart
Who in the Valley wants to give him a start?

He's gotten employment, we're all pleased as punch
He only comes home in the evening and sometimes at lunch
And it's hard work at minimum wage
It's so time consuming but at least it keeps
Our boy out of his cage
And off the stage

Thanks, thanks, thanks, for the net income
We're so glad that our boy is no longer a bu-u-m
Thanks, thanks, thanks, our boy left the nest
Now that he's gone we're both feeling rather depressed