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Song Parodies -> "Dante's the Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Ask Me Why"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Dante's the Guy"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Howard Hesseman, as teacher Charlie Moore in the 1980s ABC sitcom "Head of the Class": "Have you ever heard of 'The Divine Comedy'? It's an epic poem by Dante. In it, he describes nine levels of hell." Dan Schneider as student Dennis Blundin: "That's a comedy?"
All the chapters in this real long book
it's a hundred if you blink.
Whoa-hoh, every time you try to take a look
it may just drive you to drink.
It ain't romances. Just take your chances.
Dante's the guy.

You just finished chapter twenty-nine.
Seventy-one to complete.
Whoa-hoh, medieval book taxes your mind.
Late at night, and now you're beat.
Such slow advances. Just take your chances.
Dante's the guy.

Mmmm, you can say this "comedy" is only make-believe
and tell me that there ain't no real hell-fire.
But you are still a victim of the novels that you read.
As sure as in the end, you will get high-yi-yigher.

Now, I see, you're catching lots of hell.
First of trilogy's complete.
Whoa-hoh, fool them all, but, baby, I can tell
Satan's got corns on his feet.
You look at Judas, Cassius and Brutus.
Dante's the guy.

(instrumental break)

Yesterday, purgatory seemed mild.
Now, read 'bout heaven today.
Whoa-hoh, do you like the book's translation style?
Italiano, not Francais!
Pretentious stances. You took your chances.
Dante's the guy.

Dante's the guy.
Yes, my conservative acquaintances, the book taxes your mind. Although, in your cases, there's no danger of an increase.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Know 1 can hear you dream - November 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Donīt abondon all hope of getting more votes for this one... ;-)
Diva - November 18, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL! Darn, I thought this parody was going to be autobiographical.
Jonathan C. - November 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Don't fret, Diva. I thought this was going to be about Kansas City Chiefs' kick returner Dante Hall.:(
Wild Man - November 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Only nine levels in hell, is that right? That must mean #10 is Jersey.
Michael Pacholek - November 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, we do have a hockey team called the Devils. Three rings in nine years. It's a hell of a club.

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